I’m 31 years old, and I don’t know how to drive. Not just ‘drive well’. At all. Not one bit. If you sat me in the driver’s seat of a car and said, ‘Go!’ I’d stare at you like a cactus brought to life being quizzed about differential calculus. This ignorance has been a) a product of not wanting to contribute to the profits of the car industry or the emissions exacerbating global warming, b) a privilege afforded by living in a city with a well-functioning public transport system and cycle-able distances, and c) a real fucking ballache and burden for my more car-proficient friends on the occasion that we’ve gone on road trips. Despite the occasional internal nagging about the practicality of doing so, I don’t really ever plan on learning how to drive. After the Fall, when we’ve devolved into a Fury Road-esque post-climate collapse hellscape, I’ll just buddy up with some half-mad ravager who retains her driving skills instead.

If I’ve survived at all.

Which, let’s be honest, is not likely.

So therefore: Why worry?!

And thus is the logical loop closed perfectly.

On that note!

Reddit asks the question: ‘Adults of Reddit, what is something you should have mastered by now, but haven’t?’ You can check out the full thread here, but below are some highlights:

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(YouTube link for above.)

Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.

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