I warned you guys that Trump’s presidential bid was less of a joke than we’d wish it to be; here we are five months later and that floppy-headed fool is in it for the long run. The national polls today have Cruz ahead on the GOP side and my gods, that’s not even better by a stray combover hair. Do you have an escape plan if one of these clowns wins?
Yeah, you’re gonna need to do better than that. This could end up a hundred times worse than Bush on a terrorism high.
Never fear, our Canadian friends and neighbors are here; specifically, the beautiful, border-wall-free island of Cape Breton. Located off the northeastern Nova Scotian coast, the island’s beauty and culture isn’t all it has to offer.
“Don’t wait until Donald Trump is elected president to find somewhere else to live! Start now, that way, on election day, you just hop on a bus to start your new life in Cape Breton, where women can get abortions, Muslim people can roam freely, and the only ‘walls’ are holding up the roofs of our extremely affordable houses.
We have a dedicated team of volunteers ready to get the ball rolling, so get in touch today!”
Sounds lovely, right? But, is it really that easy to immigrate? No worries! The site has a link to get your process going and though unemployment is high, there are a few job listings. (One word: telecommute) Still, you must be wondering, what do they get out of it? Seems the island community population has been slowly dwindling; resident and radio 101.9 DJ, Rob Calabrese came up with this mutually beneficial plan to take advantage of a possible American exodus.
With plenty of art and culture (Lumiére, Celtic Colors), its own university, and that gorgeous coastline, I fail to see a downside to this escape plan. At the first sign of a potentially hairy situation,
meet me at the causeway.