By Kristy Puchko | Politics | October 14, 2015 |
By Kristy Puchko | Politics | October 14, 2015 |
Last night presidential frontrunner Hillary Clinton, Facebook timeline dominator Bernie Sanders and three other guys you just found out were were running (human thumb Jim Webb, penetrative starer Martin O’Malley, and Lincoln “It Was My First Day” Chafee) fielded questions from silver fox/national treasure Anderson Cooper for the first Democratic Presidential Debate of the 2016 race for the White House.
Here’s how Twitter reacted:
for the love of god can one of these people please just grab the golden snitch and end the presidential race right now. #DemocraticDebate
— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) October 14, 2015
.@Snowden Are your ears burning
— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) October 14, 2015
Dem Debate: Policy, guns, immigration, socialism vs capitalism
GOP Debate: pic.twitter.com/LcvBPoITaa
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) October 14, 2015
in terms of specifics and being about something- about issues, compared to republican debate—not even close!
— Michael Keaton (@MichaelKeaton) October 14, 2015
Night and day difference AND the democrats consistently disappoint me. ALSO, Anderson Cooper is doing a great job.
— Michael Keaton (@MichaelKeaton) October 14, 2015
On Clinton:
Hilary's outfit looks like a shirt with the Washington Monument on it lol #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/rd6HUioLYV
— DCHomos (@DCHomos) October 14, 2015
Have the woman ask the woman about what the other woman said about paid family leave? Hmmm… #DemDebate
— ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) October 14, 2015
Shorter CNN: Catfight, plse? #DemDebate
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) October 14, 2015
Can Michael Bay please make a movie about Hillary and Obama hunting down that secret Chinese meeting?
— Evan Saathoff (@Sam_Strange) October 14, 2015
Hilary's new platform towards millennials #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/dDcR0mV6Qi
— Isaac (@icliffscott37) October 14, 2015
On Sanders:
As predicted, @BernieSanders looks like his suit was acquired in a white elephant. #DemDebate
— Mary Forrest (@maryforrest) October 14, 2015
"Senator Sanders, your tongue has been spotted sliding in and out of the @NRA's ass. Care to comment?"
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) October 14, 2015
Sanders to Clinton: "The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damned emails." Bar erupts in cheers. #DemDebate
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) October 14, 2015
Nation Enthralled By Bernie Sanders' Continued Use of Spooky Hands #DemocraticDebate
— Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite) October 14, 2015
…
[and that completes my #DemocraticDebate coverage]
#Bernie2016 #Hilary #DemDebate #CNNDebate pic.twitter.com/WdJkE2NiJa
— Liz Lanteri™ (@lizlanteri) October 14, 2015
They should make the candidates who aren't Bernie or Hillary wear red Star Trek shirts.
— Don NicHOWLS (@TheDairylandDon) October 14, 2015
On Webb:
#DemDebate Webb's decision to wear a White LIves Matters t-shirt was a bold move.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) October 14, 2015
Jim Webb needs a carpet square and a Capri Sun.
— Brian Byrd (@BrianByrdman) October 14, 2015
Jim Webb looks and sounds like he's undergoing his annual colonoscope. #DemDebate
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) October 14, 2015
"Who won the debate?"
"Most people agree it was the guy saying, 'NO FAIR NO FAIR.'"
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) October 14, 2015
"I killed a guy." Good answer Jim
— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) October 14, 2015
COOPER: A little bit of a fun one now, what is your favorite ice cream flavor?
WEBB: I will kill again
— brendan james, woke (@deep_beige) October 14, 2015
On O’Malley:
Is there a "Martin O'Malley" sound upgrade for my ambient sleep machine? #DemocraticDebate
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 14, 2015
BERNIE: I'm not funded by corporations
MARTIN O'MALLEY (one upping him): I'M NOT FUNDED BY ANYONE
— Online Hippo (@NicestHippo) October 14, 2015
"I was responsible for the bad parts of 'The Wire'. But also, you love 'The Wire'." - Martin O'Malley
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) October 14, 2015
On Chafee:
Chaffee is a dead ringer for the turtle from the Never-Ending Story. pic.twitter.com/sqFi3AsbWq
— SPOOKAYE TROLL (@ohkayewhatever) October 14, 2015
Cruel to say but true, Chafee’s “I’d just been appointd to my dad’s Senate seat, I was confusd” answer will join ranks of disastrous replies
— James Fallows (@JamesFallows) October 14, 2015
MY DAD HAD DIED bitch you aren't Batman, that doesn't give you a pass. Know what you're voting on.
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) October 14, 2015
If this debate is a horror movie, Lincoln Chafee just went outside to check on a strange noise.
— Sam Adams — boo! (@SamuelAAdams) October 14, 2015
Conservative candidate Mike Huckabee actually started getting more attention than three of the five Democrats on national television by tweeting racist garbage:
On the bright side, at least there is no way @GovMikeHuckabee will come anywhere near the presidency. pic.twitter.com/ywlh39N7gQ
— Dave Holmes (@DaveHolmes) October 14, 2015
By "Korean chef," you mean your son, right? Because your son killed a dog for fun, which is true @GovMikeHuckabee https://t.co/i2WZJ9lqK1
— Benari Poulten (@BenariLee) October 14, 2015
Kristy Puchko lives in perpetual fear that ice cream will become self-aware New York City.