Oh no, not that time. The other time Donald bragged about using his power and influence to force women into sexual situations with him without their consent. This one he did on Howard Stern’s show also in 2005 (2005 was apparently a very bad year for consent). Seth Meyers briefly discussed it in his diggable ‘Closer Look’ from Monday, but I think it itself needs a closer look.
Here’s the audio (starts at 02:25)
And in case you can’t bear to listen to his gross, gropey voice anymore:
Well, I’ll tell you the funniest is that before a show, I’ll go backstage and everyone’s getting dressed, and everything else, and you know, no men are anywhere, and I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant and therefore I’m inspecting it. You know, I’m inspecting because I want to make sure that everything is good. You know, the dresses. ‘Is everyone okay?’ You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. ‘Is everybody okay?’ And you see these incredible looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that. But no, I’ve been very good.
OK, a few things:
1) Donald has the absolute worst definition of “good” that I’ve ever had the displeasure of douche chilling through.
2) You didn’t “get away” with anything, Don. No one thought what you were doing was cool. Do you mean you weren’t prosecuted? Or that none of the people whose livelihoods were dependent on that stupid beauty pageant called you out for your bullshit? Because that’s the only way that you “got away” with anything. You might have been able to use your position of authority over those women to sexually exploit them without any ramifications, but you didn’t trick anyone into thinking what you were doing was cool.
3) Also, Don, my Babadook, that thing you were doing? It’s called sexual assault. Let’s try rephrasing what you said to Howard and Robin in a way that eliminates your authority and power.
“I’m the head set builder of the pageant so I can drill holes in the walls of the women’s dressing room without anyone knowing. Because everyone thinks I’m just building the set the way it’s supposed to be. You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that.”
“I’m a camera operator for the pageant so I can set up a hidden camera in the women’s dressing rooms. You know, no men are anywhere back there, but I can put in that camera without anyone noticing. You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that.”
“I’m the head of security for the pageant so I can just walk back there and no one can stop me. I’m physically so big and strong so I’m allowed to go in the dressing room because they can’t physically remove me from it. You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that.”
Everyone knows those instances are all totally fucked up, right? That’s because, by and large, people who are on sound legal and ethical footing don’t say shit like “so I sort of get away with things like that.”
Now pretending for a minute that the contestants were all super cool with an older, strange man invading their privacy and ogling them while changing (which they were totally not), what the fuck is wrong with you? How, in the sweet holy fuck, do you recognize that women don’t want to been touched or seen naked by you, and still get your rocks off to that? Why don’t you feel gross all of the time?
And just a very quick PSA to any dudes who might be reading this and somehow still haven’t figured it out: if you’re ever in a situation where you think “How much can I touch/peep at /say to her, and still get away with it,” stop. Just stop it. Copping a feel while you show her how to improve her tennis stroke. “Accidentally” grazing her boob while you pass her in the breakroom. Making your way through a crowded area crotch first because then someone might touch it. Knock it the fuck off. You might think you’re being sneaky, that you’re getting a quick thrill and no one is getting hurt. But us? We just think this.
Yeah. Don’t be that guy, man.
Update: As commenter Altius posted, Buzzfeed is reporting that four former Miss Teen USA contestants are claiming that Trump walked into their dressing room during the 1997 competition. Some of the contestants were as young as fifteen at the time. Other contestants are disputing the story, but this is the Creature From The Orange Lagoon we’re talking about her so who the fuck even knows anymore?
Emily Chambers just can’t with Trump’s face anymore so the header pic is Captain Raymond Holt who is giving her life this season.