Tomi Lahren Warns of Toilet Paper Black Market If Bernie Sanders Becomes President

By Jodi Smith | Politics | December 4, 2017 |

By Jodi Smith | Politics | December 4, 2017 |

Tomboy Layman spoke at Liberty University, which I think teaches you things like how to trick the poor and make handwritten additions to important legislation. That or it teaches you how to misunderstand equality and try to make “It’s OK To Be White” a thing.

At any rate, conservative “commentator” Tomei Lurlene gave a speech where she declared the United States the best country in the world and reminded everyone that the President is Donald Trump. I think they may be a little slow at Liberty University based on Tommy Lalane needing to remind them of that sad news. Turbine Lemony also referred to Hillary Clinton as “Hillary-Rodham-email-deleting-Benghazi-lying-sham-foundation-crooked-Clinton,” which is odd since she didn’t also say “Donald-Bloated-traitorous-lying-pussy-grabbing-sexual-assaulting-third-grade-reading-level-hair-like-a-dead-marmot-Trump”.

Then came Tawny Limabean’s kicker: That dirty voters are in for black market toilet paper problems if we vote in a candidate like Bernie Sanders. If you can stand to listen to her shrill bluster, I’ve embedded the video. If not, skip to underneath Tangy Lawndart’s speech.

“We might just end up with Bernie as a president if we do not pay attention and educate our Bernie supporters. They really do want what’s best for this country, they just have a math problem … [L]et me tell you, there’s no such thing as free. But that’s how they get you. Socialism starts out with the promise of free things and it turns into a black market for toilet paper. And if you think I’m kidding, take a look at Venezuela. I’m not kidding you, there’s a black market for toilet paper.” - VIA Uproxx

Tonka Loaderbot also talked about free speech and how we need to have civil discussions about important issues while using the same breath to call feminism a farce and making a joke about men identifying as “mashed potatoes, or whatever people are identifying as nowadays.” Very civil, yes.

It’s clear that Tanqueray Libelsuit understands civility and politics super well, kids. She’s so smart and on her parent’s insurance, but wants to get rid of her ability to be on that insurance when she gets fired again. We should all be as smart as Troma Lumberjack and pander to the lowest possible denominator of society: those that think equality means they have the upper hand and everyone else bends to their whims.

And before you start, I never claimed to be civil.