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Ted Cruz Getty 1.jpg

The Only Person Buying Ted Cruz's Book is Ted Cruz

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Politics | August 17, 2021 |

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Politics | August 17, 2021 |

Ted Cruz Getty 1.jpg

Conservatives love to scam the bestseller lists as proof that they’re ever so popular and literary geniuses smashing it in front of the weeping liberals. It’s such a frequent occurrence from Republican trashbags and talk radio verbal vomit machines that The New York Times often points out the offending books and their suspect sales numbers. Donny Trump Jr. got caught doing it. So did basically every crab-face Fox News favorite you know. And now joining their ranks is Ted Cruz and his Eddie Munster-esque facial hair failure.

According to a financial disclosure he filed on Monday, via Forbes, Cruz received a $320,000 book advance in 2020, but his own campaign offices dropped a staggering $153,000 at retailer Books-a-Million in the three months after his newest publication hit the shelves. One Vote Away: How a Single Supreme Court Seat Can Change History was published on September 29, 2020. Two weeks later, Cruz’s campaign spent $40,000 at Books-a-Million, according to his committee’s 2020 year-end report. The following month, they made a second purchase from the same company of a much smaller $1,500. Then, on December 1st, Books-a-Million got another $111,900 for what is simply listed as ‘books’ under their filing.

Coincidentally, Ted Cruz’s official Senate website offers autographed copies of this book in exchange for donations of at least $77. Just what you want for the hell-beast in your life who may or may not actually be able to read.

So, the scam is clear: Get a huge book deal — worth way more than the annual salary of a Senator — based on the idea that you’ll definitely make back your advance; bulk-buy your own books to get best-seller status and ‘prove’ your popularity with audiences; then use the warehouse full of hardbacks as marked-up incentives for voters to donate to your next Senate campaign. This is a horribly common strategy for politicians because it’s almost too easy. It also further incentivizes major publishers to keep giving money to and further legitimize these treacherous f**kwits, whether it’s Mike Pence or the guy who killed Breonna Taylor. As publishing gets smaller and further monopolized, these issues will only get bigger. I suppose we can take a sliver of joy from the fact that nobody is actually reading Cruz’s book but when has honesty or being able to make up your own mind about something ever mattered to him?

At least Handbook for Mortals had a Carrot Top cameo.

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Kayleigh is a features writer and editor for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter or listen to her podcast, The Hollywood Read.

Header Image Source: Sarah Silbiger // Getty Images