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The Most Hilarious/Infuriating Things Kim Davis Said In Her First TV Interview

By Kristy Puchko | Politics | September 23, 2015 |

By Kristy Puchko | Politics | September 23, 2015 |

Kentucky clerk Kim Davis’s time in the spotlight is thankfully burning out fast. But before she fades into the background of minor celebrity, she wanted the world to understand her side. So Davis did an interview with ABC News’ Paula Faris. We watched it so you don’t have to. And oh the shit she’s said!

Of course she believes God called her to ignore the SCOTUS decision and force her own beliefs into her government job: “I’m just a normal person that has been touched by the grace of God, and his mercy.”

God’s mercy extends to forgiving Davis for her own three divorces, and having children as a result of an “adulterous relationship,” because she’s been saved. Five years back she converted to Apostolic Christianity and was “washed clean.” Those gays though, they just want a license to sin, amirite? Well, not in her name!

Davis says she’s not discriminating because “I didn’t issue licenses to anybody—to not discriminate.” Yeah, to prevent gays from getting married you refused to issue any marriage licenses creating the very issue (gay marriage ruining it for the straight people) that Marriage Equality opponents shriek about.

But the big FFS moment comes here:

COMING UP ON GMA: ABC News Exclusive: Kentucky clerk Kim Davis tells PAULA FARIS: "What people say about me does not define who I am." WATCH:

Posted by Good Morning America on Tuesday, September 22, 2015

“What probably hurt me the worst,” A teary-eyed Davis admitted, “Is when someone tells me that my God does not love me or that my God is not happy with me, that I am a hypocrite of a Christian.”

Because you are, Kim. You’ve chosen the same side of this issue as these people:

Oh, and here’s the kicker: Kim Davis is pulling the “But I have gay friends!” defense. “I have friends who are gay and lesbians,” she insists. “They know where I stand and we don’t agree on this issue and we’re okay because we respect each other.”

Okay. Add “respect” to the words Davis doesn’t understand, along with “hypocrite,” “discrimination,” her own job description and “God’s love.”

For the record, Davis is still refusing to issue any licenses. Her deputies are instead. But here’s the snag: Davis has altered the forms, removing her name from them and thereby potentially invalidating those licenses. So there may be more jail time ahead of her.

Kristy Puchko needs ice cream for breakfast.

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Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.