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The GOP Pledges Total Loyalty To Trump Like Robert Mueller Doesn't Even Exist

By Mike Redmond | Politics | December 20, 2018 |

By Mike Redmond | Politics | December 20, 2018 |


trump-white-house-christmas.jpg

At this stage in the game, Robert Mueller is so far up Trump’s ass that he can tell you exactly how many Big Macs the president chewed for breakfast and how many he just swallowed whole. (Four and eight respectively.) If there was ever a time for the GOP to start removing the orange cancer consuming the entire party from the top down, it was probably the moment “letter of intent” started making headlines. Instead, the GOP is gluing itself even tighter to Trump’s hip.

From Politico:

President Donald Trump is planning to roll out an unprecedented structure for his 2020 reelection, a streamlined organization that incorporates the Republican National Committee and the president’s campaign into a single entity.

It’s a stark expression of Trump’s stranglehold over the Republican Party: Traditionally, a presidential reelection committee has worked in tandem with the national party committee, not subsumed it.

Under the plan, which has been in the works for several weeks, the Trump reelection campaign and the RNC will merge their field and fundraising programs into a joint outfit dubbed Trump Victory. The two teams will also share office space rather than operate out of separate buildings, as has been custom.

Just so we’re all on the same page, while the spittle hasn’t even dried on Mike Flynn’s face after getting chewed out by a Republican-appointed judge who all but accused him of treason, the RNC continued to comfortably nestle itself in Trump’s gross bullfrog neck-waddle like everything’s fine. On top of that, states like South Carolina are actively making plans to forgo a GOP primary in order to protect Trump from Republican candidates who aren’t balls deep in Russian kompromat. Although, it is nice to see the GOP suppress its own voters for a change.

But here’s an even weirder turn of events that shows how tightly the wagons are being circled. This week, the Trump administration banned bump stocks in light of the deadly Las Vegas shooting, and oddly, the NRA bent right over and took it.

From Rolling Stone:

The NRA has been atypically muted in its response to the new rule. The gun lobby had previously backed a federal review to see if bump-stocks complied with existing law, writing: “The NRA believes that devices designed to allow semi-automatic rifles to function like fully-automatic rifles should be subject to additional regulations.” On Tuesday, NRA spokesperson Jennifer Baker expressed mild concern, called the final rule “disappointing” and suggesting the administration should have carved out an “amnesty” for “law-abiding Americans who relied on prior ATF determinations” that the devices were legal to buy.

Huh. It’s almost like there’s something that directly connects the NRA to Trump, but c’mon. There’s no way there’d be something that blatantly obvious.

WASHINGTON — The FBI is investigating whether a top Russian banker with ties to the Kremlin illegally funneled money to the National Rifle Association to help Donald Trump win the presidency, two sources familiar with the matter have told McClatchy.

Wow, sonofabitch.

And yet Donald Trump is still very much the preferred candidate for most GOP voters because America is dumb as hell. Case in point, take this warning that NPR just issued to Democrats heading into the 2020 primaries. (Emphasis mine.)

Fifty-two percent of Americans, including a majority of independents, said they are against the country becoming more politically correct and are upset that there are too many things people can’t say anymore. About a third said they are in favor of the country becoming more politically correct and like when people are being more sensitive in their comments about others.

Aww, the poor snowflakes don’t like being polite on the extremely rare occasions when they have to interact with a gay and/or brown person. Should I call an ambulance?

So here’s an anecdote: In the past two weeks, my Christian conservative mom has started texting me Facebook memes about how “sensitive” everyone is these days. (She actually thinks I’ll find them funny even though my reaction to these conversations is to walk out of the room so my kids continue to see their grandparents.) Yet this is a woman who was so personally offended by the “made-up” accusations against Brett Kavanaugh that she blamed Satan for orchestrating the whole thing as a direct assault on Christianity. That’s your quintessential Trump voter who the GOP wants to keep firmly in the fold, which explains why it’s continuing to chain the entire party to Rapey Orange Jesus.

Maybe I’m just jealous because my party is getting ready to rip itself apart again because an unfortunate contingent refuses to acknowledge that even though Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is awesome, she won in a cake-walk Democratic district that is in no way indicative of the rest of the country. More specifically, it is absolutely not a trial balloon for Bernie’s old, out of touch ass running in 2020. For the love of God. But I’m getting away from the point I wanted to make here:

I don’t want to hear another Republican talk about patriotism ever again.


Header Image Source: Getty


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