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The Difference Between '50 Shades', Beyoncé and P*ssy Grabbin' with Trump

By Courtney Enlow | Politics | October 11, 2016 |

By Courtney Enlow | Politics | October 11, 2016 |

With all this focus on Trump’s leaked audio this week, many have asked the hard hitting questions:

What about rap music?

What about Beyoncé?

What about 50 Shades of Grey?


And we must too ask ourselves, what is so different between these things and what Donald Trump said? Are they really so different?

Yes, you fucking maroons. And the differences are as follows:

1. “Rap music” isn’t running for president, nor is Beyoncé or Christian Grey. Because he’s a fictional character.

2. The sex acts described in “Formation” and 50 Shades, however poorly written it may be and however poor a depiction of actual BDSM, are consensual. What Trump was describing was not.

I have the mouth of a sailor perpetually stepping on nails. I once got temporarily disowned by an aunt for calling Chris Brown a “cunting fuckpuppet” on this very website. The word pussy couldn’t offend me if an actual pussy queefed the word into my mouth. The issue is the word “grab.” The issue is assault. If you don’t see the difference, or more accurately if you don’t care enough to see the difference because you’re too busy deflecting, take your ass to Red Lobster and throw yourself in the lobster tank.