Last night Americans were glued to their televisions watching one of the most anticipated/dreaded events of recent history: The First Presidential Debate. Hillary Rodham-Clinton faced off against Donald Trump in a riveting 90 minutes of debate, hosted by Lester Holt. Twitter went wild.
For those of us who desperately needed a community to cheer the inspiring responses and jeer the astonishing insanity that was on full display, Twitter was our everything.
For (so many) more cocaine tweets, click here.
Notice Trump sniffing all the time. Coke user?— Howard Dean (@GovHowardDean) September 27, 2016
Pay more attention to Trump claiming that not paying taxes means he's "smart." He is literally calling the American taxpayer stupid.— Bilge Ebiri (@BilgeEbiri) September 27, 2016
I don't pay my taxes because I'm not smart. I pay my taxes because that's how this country works and it's my responsibility. You FUCK— Jessi Klein (@jessirklein) September 27, 2016
Trump: I don't pay taxes. I'm smart.— Henny DeebiYassi (@KixNewEra) September 27, 2016
If I had been audited for 15 years straight I guess I'd brag about it too. It's pretty unique. #debates— Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) September 27, 2016
If you stay in a Trump hotel, refuse to pay. Say that you weren't satisfied. He said that's cool. #debatenight— Betty F*ckin' White (@BettyFckinWhite) September 27, 2016
A man who only looks for the higher ground when he can build a hotel on it. https://t.co/sTzsn6nqA7— Jim Vejvoda (@JimVejvoda) September 27, 2016
Yes indeed who told her to do that pic.twitter.com/LKchxJCz0R— Jason Bailey (@jasondashbailey) September 27, 2016
Murder rates under the last few presidents. We are safer now. pic.twitter.com/MK6VPUydwD— John Legend (@johnlegend) September 27, 2016
Trump the bully. pic.twitter.com/dsYlSEKvQh— Justin Mikita (@JustinMikita) September 27, 2016
She doesn't have the stamina to be President?? LOL She's put up with the likes of you, Bill Clinton, and everyone else for 40 years— Jim Vejvoda (@JimVejvoda) September 27, 2016
she was a working mom & a primary caregiver to her child & still managed a law career AND a life of public service STFU ABOUT STAMINA DONALD— zoe kazan (@zoeinthecities) September 27, 2016
Any woman that can keep her cool around Trump for 100 minutes has proven that—if nothing else—stamina is not her weak point.#debatenight— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) September 27, 2016
To the men amazed Clinton hasn't snapped: Every woman you know has learned to do this. This is our life in this society. #debatenight— E. Van Every (@E_VanEvery) September 27, 2016
We all agree "stamina" is a euphemism for a penis, right?— Kate Sheppard (@kate_sheppard) September 27, 2016
I cannot imagine the concentration required to stand next to him.— John Cho (@JohnTheCho) September 27, 2016
You know I'm really conflicted: should I want someone who's too-prepared to do a job, or someone who believes preparation is for losers? Hm.— Moisés Chiullán (@moiseschiu) September 27, 2016
Barbara Stanwyck and Theresa Harris in BABY FACE (1933). pic.twitter.com/V6ysmlTJ7X— The Nitrate Diva (@NitrateDiva) September 27, 2016
"I HAVE A MUCH BETTER TEMPERAMENT THAT SHE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!" he bellowed, spraying spittle. #Debates2016— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 27, 2016
Trump: 'I have a much better temperament than she does.' Let him talk. #DebateNight— Jeffrey Wright (@jfreewright) September 27, 2016
Dude. If she just lets him keep talking he will win for her just by sounding like such a massive jaggof— Ana Lily Amirpour (@Lilyinapad) September 27, 2016
"Nobody CALLS SEAN HANNITY!" Holy Moly. pic.twitter.com/jbkccUYkbG— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) September 27, 2016
Trump speaks at the exact speed and cadence of a guy trying to get a sexist joke out before the waitress gets back— Sean Casey (@SBCasey) September 27, 2016
Donald Trump tonight: pic.twitter.com/2uNa5il6Gb— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) September 27, 2016
they asked about race & he talked about his investments and his police endorsements. he is a true monster.— zoe kazan (@zoeinthecities) September 27, 2016
Man we're really talking Obama truthing shit in 2016. Props to calling Trump racist though.— bando khalrissian (@khal) September 27, 2016
you can frisk me but I can't see your tax returns.— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) September 27, 2016
"These are bad people." FUCK YOU.— Kimya Dawson (@mrskimyadawson) September 27, 2016
LESTER YOU BETTER ASK HIM ABOUT POLICE KILLING US. CMON FAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING RN— bando khalrissian (@khal) September 27, 2016
Again, Trump was sued for racial discrimination by the Nixon administration.— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) September 27, 2016
BY THE NIXON ADMINISTRATION.
Recap of tonight's debate. pic.twitter.com/RiawpJbtnq— Rashad Alaiyan (@rashadalaiyan) September 27, 2016
donald trump: I didn't say that— Evan (@contxnt) September 27, 2016
the internet: pic.twitter.com/S1A8r7XG5T
A beautiful thing when a big boy bully shows his soft terrified underbelly. Hillary & Rosie, why you gotta be so mean?#Debates2016— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 27, 2016
Donald Trump tried mocking Rosie O'Donnell in a presidential debate. I would vote for any "A League of Their Own" cast member over Trump.— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) September 27, 2016
Hillary's "are you fucking kidding me" face is every woman's face for about 50% of her life. #patriarchy— Zoë Eckman (@hedgerows) September 27, 2016
Christie complaining about Lester Holt. Giuliani tweeting it wasn't Trump's best night. Fox News glum. The verdict on this one is in.— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) September 27, 2016
Hillary Clinton belongs in the White House. Donald Trump belongs on my show.— Jerry Springer (@jerryspringer) September 27, 2016
Hillary Clinton is cooler, calmer, and more collected dealing with an unhinged Trump than I am using a CVS self-checkout machine.— Carlos Maza (@gaywonk) September 27, 2016
I was so worried I forgot she's an actual adult and he's a putty colored toddler-man with no impulse control who doesn't like readin'.— Jessica Ritchey (@Ruby_Stevens) September 27, 2016
This is literally a dark timeline version of Leslie Knope v. Bobby Newport from Parks and Rec— Ashly Burch (@ashly_burch) September 27, 2016
Poor America. It must be hard deciding between a competent, experienced woman and a lying, xenophobic, unpredictable, dangerous narcissist.— David Schneider (@davidschneider) September 26, 2016
Please don't let the 2016 election be a real life version of the "competent experienced woman shoved aside for newbie male Chosen One" trope— Angie J. Han (@ajhan) September 27, 2016
Did we miss your favorite debate tweet? Share it in comments.
Kristy Puchko would like to thank Twitter and wine for getting her through last night.