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Some Suggestions for More Boycotts By Trumpy Supporters

By Jodi Smith | Politics | December 8, 2016 |

By Jodi Smith | Politics | December 8, 2016 |

As you know, alleged Vice President Elect Mike “Gay Shocker” Pence was respectfully addressed while at a performance of Hamilton. This led to a boycott of the show, which led to tickets still being harder to find than an open checkout lane in a Walmart.

Then there was the call to boycott Target on the basis of their policy to treat people the way that they would want to be treated and allowing people to use the restroom that matches their gender identity. This did result in a drop of the retailer’s sales, because there are alternatives for shopping destinations. I will be interested to see the effect after the Christmas season.

Now there is a planned boycott of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Neo-nazis are crying that the sci-fi flick is pushing a non-white agenda and their fee-fees are hurt. So no one should see the movie with the multi-cultural cast because it is super mean that the main character isn’t a white guy and it is SO HARD to see representation of white males in cinema.

If I were a gambling man, I would have a penis. But I would also bet that fucking nazis aren’t really heading to the movie theater all that much since they might be offended by other races existing in the same public space as them. Also there’s no neo-nazi discount for concessions. I would also bet that these red-laced fucks aren’t going to make a dent in the ridiculous box office of the newest film in a beloved franchise.

So that’s two failures out of three, although Target refusing to back down regardless of the dip in sales isn’t really a win. Sending my brain down the path of Trumpa-Lumpa boycotts having shit success, I’ve compiled a list of other things they should consider boycotting.

1. Social Media

People are on social media and they are saying things that don’t concern you or that differ from your beliefs. Why should you have to read these things? You can’t just scroll past them and make peace with the fact that some people have different life experiences that mold and shape their morals and priorities. Why should you have to do anything that you don’t agree with, like congratulate an unmarried mother or the wedding of a same-sex couple? You should just leave all social media and use the internet for sending chain emails and minion memes.

2. Driving

That car you are driving? It may have been previously owned by a gay individual. Or a Muslim. Or a transgendered person. How will you explain to your children that your minivan seats may have once held Black people in safety as they went about their lives? HOW WILL YOU EXPLAIN THAT THEIR BUTT SITS WHERE A GAY MAN’S BUTT ONCE RESTED? HOW?

3. Disney World

Think about it. Multi-cultural characters are becoming more and more common in the Disney parks. Mulan, Tiana, Moana, Aladdin, Jasmine. Epcot has pavilions celebrating other countries! And they employ people from those other countries here in America! YOU CAN’T EVEN TAKE A GUN INTO THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!

Worst of all, you can’t cut line by yelling that you voted for Trump.

4. Johnny Depp

He’s a dickwagon and everyone should boycott his stupid fucking everything. I also heard that he said that Das Trvmp was a smelly dumb dumb that has a big butt and that is butt is also stupid and covered in poop.

5. Oxygen

Did you know that people who voted for Hillary Clinton breathe the exact same air as those who voted for Orange J. Bullshit? Or that Muslims breathe that air too? Can you imagine all of the Mexican illegal immigrants just stealing breath from hardworking Americans? SHAMEFUL. Tell oxygen to go fuck itself and start breathing from air dusters only. That will show that bitch Mother Nature what you think of her disgusting policy of equal air for all people.

I don’t want to use a header of the wobbly, fat face of Trumper El Naranja, so I give you the delightful Rahul Kohli. A Pajiba 10 member and hilariously lovely star of iZombie. I won’t lie. The “fart” written on his forehead called to me.