If you’ve been following the Ukraine situation with any sort of regularity, then you’re almost definitely aware of Rudy Giuliani being at the direct center of that shitstorm, which has now resulted in articles of impeachment being levied at his client Donald Trump. Of course, that’s a very generous read of Giuliani’s involvement, because he’s practically a co-conspirator and not the brightest one at that. On top of basically admitting Trump’s guilt during several disastrous interviews, Giuliani literally returned to the scene of the crime last week in an attempt to… dig up more dirt on Joe Biden. That’s like re-murdering a body then dropping it back inside the chalk outline — while the cops are still standing there.
In the midst of all of this, naturally, Giuliani has continued to find new and spectacularly stupid ways to be a disaster artist like his rapey shitburger client, our president. One of the sticks of dynamite that Giuliani is currently juggling is his current Director of Communications, Christianné Allen, who started in September as the Ukraine situation unraveled. (Keep that little fact in mind.) What makes Allen notable is that she’s only 20 years old, has zero PR experience with a client of Rudy’s stature, and according to Politico, she’s been lying about her résumé and family connections to move around in Trump circles since she was 16. There’s also this little detail.
Her most important relationship, however, would be with the lawyer Charles Gucciardo, whom she said she met while attending a law seminar for high school students at Stanford University, prior to her involvement in the Trump campaign. He eventually offered her an internship at his Long Island law firm. Allen’s connection to Gucciardo was first reported by Salon.
Years later, Gucciardo would be pulled into the Ukraine scandal when he invested $500,000 into a company started by Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, the two men who went to Ukraine to dig up dirt on Hunter Biden, based on Giuliani’s involvement in said company. (Unlike Parnas and Fruman, who were arrested in October, Gucciardo has not been accused of wrongdoing in any investigation involving Giuliani, and he told POLITICO in a comment: “Christianné is a phenomenal young lady with tremendous potential in her career.”)
Just so we’re clear, it was already bad enough that Giuliani inexplicably hired a college student to be his comms director, but now, there are dots that connect her to the Ukraine scandal. Christ, even people in Rudy’s own circle have no clue how the hell a 20-year-old with an easily debunked résumé is somehow the top spokeswoman for the President of the United States’ lawyer.
“Nobody can figure out who the eff she is or how she got in there,” a friend of Giuliani told POLITICO.
On top of that, Giuliani seems to be fiercely protective of his new hire and tweeted the following when he caught wind that Allen’s employment was being put under a microscope.
Politico is about to write a malicious hit-piece on a Comms Director of mine. Not just because she’s pro-Trump but because she’s lined up one witness after the other, proving just how corrupt the Democrat party is. Politico has assisted this cover up for years. It’s a shame!— Rudy Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani) December 6, 2019
You think if my Comms Director was doing a terrible job they would be writing this piece?— Rudy Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani) December 6, 2019
They’re upset because she’s doing one hell of a job blocking them from misrepresenting me!
Look at how our support has increased in the last several months, now you have the answer!
What’s interesting about that last tweet is that Allen is doing a terrible job by almost every measure. Giuliani is a laughingstock with a reputation as a “hand grenade” and his unseasoned comms director is powerless to stop Rudy’s biggest problem: Rudy’s mouth.
Torrance, a journalist who unexpectedly scored an interview with Giuliani for Spectator USA when the former New York mayor ended up sitting next to her on the Acela, recalls that Allen, who was also aboard, seemed “a little bit overwhelmed at times.”
Nor did Allen stop Giuliani as he gabbed to Torrance, on the record, during a train ride of more than three hours. Torrance observed that Allen appeared to be more of a “body man” than a communications strategist. “He would say to her ‘remind me tomorrow to do this’ — personal assistant kind of stuff.”
As for how this situation will inevitably blow up in Giuliani’s face, God only knows. But if you take the time to read Politico’s report, Daniel Lippman and Tina Nguyen do a thorough job of detailing an unscrupulous ladder-climber who will do or say anything to further her burgeoning career. Allen is caught in several flat-out lies, including to her own father, so she’s perfectly poised to excel in Republican circles and leave Rudy behind. Case in point:
On a side note, I love how Kent State Gun Girl is only 23, and she’s already been replaced by a younger model with an advanced bullshit processor. Granted, it’s goddamn terrifying that there’s clearly a GOP Skynet pumping out an army of gun-toting honeypots, but at least this latest version doesn’t shit its pants. That we know of. She could be blaming it on Rudy, which frankly, is the perfect crime. It’s downright foolproof.
Kudos to you for not going the obvious route and insinuating that Giuliani's just gotta be banging this 20-year-old. After all, it's not like he would ever make a woman he's schtupping his press secretary despite her having no experience in that field. pic.twitter.com/3VwF4Zd8x7— Jeremy Parker (@astutepanther) December 10, 2019
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