RFK Jr.'s Supporters Think His VP Choice Is 'Depressing'

By Andrew Sanford | Politics | March 28, 2024 |

By Andrew Sanford | Politics | March 28, 2024 |

Any Lord Of The Rings fan is familiar with Gollum. The sneaky, tricksy, wide-eyed, and deadly former Hobbit plagued the heroes of J.R.R. Tolkien’s books. He threw a wrench into the battle between good and evil by focusing only on his goals. Still, because someone showed him pity, he went on to play an important role in the fight between Sauron and his enemies. RFK Jr. is a less useful version of Gollum.

A nepo baby on steroids (maybe literally), RFK Jr. has stayed in a race he cannot win. Through absurd conspiracy theories and pathetic workout videos, RFK Jr. has snared a slew of dopey followers who also believe that vaccine mandates are a form of tyranny. Any rally for Kennedy is a collection of proud conspiracy theorists. People who will tell you, with confidence, that the moon landing was fake and vaccines are dangerous. Yet, even these tin foil-clad peons aren’t getting behind their leader’s newest announcement.

RFK Jr. revealed his running mate. It wasn’t Aaron Rodgers. He did not choose Tony Robbins. There wasn’t a golden rocket ship that arrived carrying his cousin. No. RFK Jr. picked Nichole Shanahan, a wealthy lawyer who helped fund his Super Bowl commercial. The Kennedy/Shanahan ticket was announced and received the same reception most of his announcements do: “Huh?”

The Daily Show sent correspondent Michael Kosta to Oakland for the big reveal. Kosta asked RFK’s followers what they thought of the pick, and to say they were underwhelmed would be an understatement. Some assumed he would have gone with one-time Jeopardy host Aaron Rodgers. One man even suggested Oprah as a better, albeit unlikely choice. At their core, they all seemed pretty stumped.

This piece had a similar vibe to Jordan Klepper’s Trump rally visits. Kosta was surrounded by a bunch of easily malleable people who were willing to follow a delusional man. One could hope that RFK may end up siphoning off some of Trump’s votes on election day. Perhaps RFK is more similar to Gollum than I thought.