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Nancy Pelosi Meets With Britain's 'The Independent Group', Substance and Conviction Aren't Invited

By Petr Knava | Politics | April 15, 2019 |

By Petr Knava | Politics | April 15, 2019 |


They say a picture contains a thousand words. Well sometimes a Tweet contains a smorgasbord of cockwombles.

For example! Remember when an irredeemable war criminal with the blood of millions on his hands met a corporate hack once responsible for wrapping his parasitic tentacles around the beloved life-giving institution that is Britain’s National Health Service?

That was fun. I gained a few grey hairs thinking about that Tweet that day.

That’s only two cockwombles there, sure. But cockwomble maths is more complex than a linear addition of units. You gotta factor in the magnitude of cockwombliness of each of the units. Which is why a Kissinger + Hunt combination is less likely an addition of cockwombles and more like a multiplication.

In fact the term cockwomble is far, far too soft for the two jovial-looking men and the horror they’ve helped unleash upon the world in the name of empire and capital.


Did someone say ‘empire’ and ‘capital’?!

I know Nancy Pelosi has got her share of supporters here. I’m not one of them. I don’t care how many sarcastic smiles she gives to Trump’s brain dead speeches or how many meme-ready badass coats she wears. I’ve got minimal time for the Republican-enabling compromises and Wall Street-friendly characters of the establishment Democratic Party. Especially when—in the face of the absolutely inexcusable, repellent, and dangerous Islamophobic rhetoric employed by the President of the United States in his efforts to silence the bravest politician in America, Ilhan Omar—they first employ a disgraceful ‘both sides’ rhetoric before taking their sweet time to actually call it out a little bit.

It’s worth repeating here: Ilhan Omar’s bravery is unfathomable. From geopolitics to economics, there are certain consensuses in American politics. These consensuses are not allowed to be broken. Go after the primacy of neoliberal capitalism or the a priori rightness of American military intervention for example, and you risk the wrath of the entire Establishment. Politicians, celebrities, media pundits—they will all go after you. Whether right-wing or self-identifying as ‘liberal’, they’ll swarm you like a school of piranha, each unit within the hivemind barely distinguishable from the others. And for all the difficulty that a white male politician might have in breaking any of these consensuses, the Establishment wrath that follows that break is a thousand times as fierce and dark when that politician is a woman, and a WOC, and an immigrant at that. Omar is risking this again and again, and again. She is a goddamn hero.

Meanwhile, the heroes that Pelosi chooses to mingle with. Here they are again:

That’s Britain’s very own Independent Group. A splinter group of politicians, from both the Tory Party and Labour, who broke away from their respective parties under the guise of ‘moral incompatibility’, and who formed a private company—now called ‘Change UK’—funded by many of the same people who funded the Tory Party and the Labour Party before it took a Jeremy Corbyn-led turn to the left in recent years and who, despite breaking away from their old parties, refuse to call by-elections to stand as independents because they know that—especially in the case of the ex-Labour politicians—the vast majority of them were either elected or re-elected with an increased majority on the back of the reinvigorated party behind them rather than them as individuals and they would be hilariously wiped out without that connection.

In a truly lovely twist of irony, the group calling themselves ‘Change UK’ are a bunch of politicians who collectively believe in such revolutionary ideas as opposing the re-nationalisation of key services, projecting British military might abroad, continuing to implement society-crippling austerity, wining and dining captains of industry in exchange for political favours, claiming parliamentary expenses on ludicrous personal indulgences, opposing same sex marriage, and many, many more. In furtherance of their much-trumpeted causes of opposing the disaster that is Brexit and fighting what they (or those from the Labour benches anyway) disingenuously claim is a crisis of racism and antisemitism within Labour the members of Change UK have also repeatedly helped Theresa May’s shambles of a Brexit deal survive another day, and managed to engage in some live-on-air racism within hours of the group’s founding.

A bunch of incompetent, substance-less, capital-friendly centrist mugs, suited and booted and sat around a table looking smug while they stand in the way of life-on-Earth essential progress. Happy Monday.

Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.

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