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#MAGABomber Suspect Cesar Sayoc Arrested In Florida, What Are The Odds?

By Mike Redmond | Politics | October 26, 2018 |

By Mike Redmond | Politics | October 26, 2018 |


In spectacularly predictable fashion, the FBI has arrested Florida resident Cesar Sayoc in connection with the slew of pipe bombs mailed to vocal critics of Donald Trump. But before we get into the breaking details that include a quintessential rape van slathered in MAGA sauce, let’s take a minute to appreciate the fact that not even an hour before Sayoc’s arrest, the President of the United States went full false flag on Twitter.

Mountains of evidence that should inform any sane person that, yes, bombs are absolutely, without a doubt being mailed to political targets in this reality, and yet the leader of the free world suggests maybe they’re not, to droves of supporters who will believe every word he says. We’re all gonna die.

Understandably, former DOJ spokesperson Matthew Miller found it odd that Trump questioned the validity of the bombings less than 45 minutes before the FBI arrested a suspect, which is presumably something the president should have known was happening if he actually does his job- oh wait.

Did someone inform him in writing? There’s your problem right there.

Anyway, let’s talk about Sayoc and his van that cemented his nickname as the #MAGAbomber.

Now, if you’re wondering how damning photographic evidence of Sayoc’s political affiliation will be explained away by Trumpers, easy. The FBI staged it. I’m not even joking. Just take a spin through the comments over at Gateway Pundit, or spend 30 seconds on Facebook. And speaking of the Devil’s sphincter, Sayoc loved him some right-wing memes. Or at least this Facebook account that was obviously created by Hillary Clinton years in advance, they would have you believe. Damn, her aborted baby magic is strong.

And the unsurprising hits keep on coming (because Obama planted them).

That’s weird. It’s almost like right-wing views go hand-in-hand with authoritative violence, but that can’t be true because conservative pundits just spent all week saying that bombs are a “liberal tactic.” I’m probably just confused because I thought my Soros checks might get delayed. Classic me.

But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. For a few brief moments today, Donald Trump was forced to acknowledge the reality that bombs were being sent to his political opponents by a man who is fucking cuckoo for MAGA-puffs. From CNN:

“These terrorizing acts are despicable and have no place in our country,” Trump said, while also praising law enforcement officials for the swift arrest, since the first packages started arriving on Tuesday.

“We must never allow political violence to take root in America,” he said. “I’m committed to doing everything in my power as President to stop it.”

Cool. You can start by telling your base that political violence makes Orange Daddy sad and also to stop saying that liberals sent bombs to themselves because it’s making everybody look like their parents are cousins. You said everything in your power, right? Just hop right on Twitter dot com. I’ll even write a statement for you.

“We took one on the chin with the bomb stuff. Still got that SCOTUS tho. Stay frosty.”

Simple as that unless you’re dealing with a group of people who can’t handle the slightest bending of their worldview and will light their phones on fire until you erase your tweet and admit that Nancy Pelosi planned the whole thing so the Immigrant Caravan can slip in and steal our guns. But I’m sure your base wouldn’t do that.

(I’m not. They will. They will so hard.)

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Mike is a Staff Contributor living in Pennsyltucky. You can follow him on Twitter.

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