Before John Oliver took 20 minutes to rip the news network, OANN, to filth in last night’s Last Week Tonight, he took roughly nine minutes at the top of the show to call out our feckless, sociopathic federal leaders — namely the President and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner — while also bemoaning Jeremy Renner’s decision to use this moment in human history to make music. Seriously. Now, Renner? Now?
Oliver did have some nice words for a few Governors who are managing the pandemic well — Cuomo, Newsome, DeWine — but he also singled out a few of the worst, namely the governors of Georgia, Alabama, and Florida, the latter of whom — Ron DeSantis — Oliver describes as what you would get if a “sexual harassment allegation f**ked a Toyota Camry.”
— I’m glad there’s no video for this on YouTube, because he played a bit of a Jeremy Renner song and proclaimed, “I hate this moment in human history so much.”
— On Donald Trump praising himself for possibly keeping the number of dead to 1-200,000 instead of millions:
“Setting aside the fact that leading disease forecasters are mystified at how Trump got to those numbers, trying to spin 200,000 deaths as a good job because it’s not millions, is the most callous way to minimize the deaths of Americans imaginable.”
— On “alt-right Pinocchio’s” Jared Kushner for suggesting that the federal stockpile is not for the states, that it’s for the federal government:
“Wait, our stockpile? It’s not your stockpile. It’s a national stockpile for use by the United States, you fucking moron. And here’s the interesting thing about the United States, it’s almost entirely made of states. There’s states everywhere. I’d say more than 40 of them, Jared. And some parts of them badly need supplies right now, like the city you used to live in, and I pray you never show your polished, fucking face again.”
— On Alabama Governor, Kay Ivey, for refusing to shut down the state because “it’s not like California,” where the rate of infection is actually growing more slowly than that of Alabama right now.
“I’ll give her this, Alabama isn’t California or New York. It is, of course, Alabama, a state whose flag says ‘we’re working on it,’ whose seal says ‘This is where Alabama is’ and its facts page on 50 states.com is 50 facts about Indiana.”
— Finally, again on Jared Kushner, who suggested at a press conference that it was our responsibility to elect responsible local and state leaders to handle this crisis, and the failure of our local leaders is our fault for electing them:
“Yeah, no shit, Jared. Certain people are better managers than others and it seems certain other people are content to sit back and watch the bad ones make decisions that will cost people’s lives all in the hopes that Americans will all learn a valuable lesson while dying. I know that Jared Kushner must have a stockpile of empathy somewhere, but it appears that it’s his empathy and he is not allowed to extend it to anyone else.”
Meanwhile, here’s his segment on OANN.
Header Image Source: HBO