We’re going to have to get intimately real for a minute, guys. Because I have not had the best week. So far, I’ve had to deal with daylight saving screwing with my sleep, midterms, and a UTI so bad it kept me up an entire night and landed me in urgent care the next morning. I may or may not be writing this post on some painkillers for said UTI, and spoiler alert, I totally am.
But by far the most painful thing I’ve dealt with this week was watching my home state vote for Trump in the primaries. What the hell, guys? Remember how just on Friday, Chicago, my dear, sweet Chicago, was all, “Yeah, you gotta get the fuck out of here with that”? And then we all wasted that by giving him 38% of the votes? Why? Does no one else remember that this guy was supposed to be a joke? I mean, John Oliver does, but he doesn’t seem to understand how this thing happened either.
Now, the jokes about Trump, Beyonce, and Jay-Z aside (which definitely sounds less like a rational discussion and infinitely more like suggestions thrown out at a bad improv set), the last part of this clip is most interesting to me. In other countries, Trump might still be the crazy candidate, but none of us would have to worry about his shit. Sure, 12 percent of Congress would be a big deal, and a large enough voting bloc that it should be worried about. The infamous Blue Dog Coalition that threatened to end Obamacare before it started were roughly 6 percent of the House. But 12 percent is nowhere near enough to be worried that Fuckface Von Clownstick might somehow actually be elected as President of the goddamn country.
So while in the middle of our Tolkienesque march up the sides of Mount Doom that is this election, maybe what we should keep in mind this small suggestion about the current state of our political process: The two party system is terrible, and we should burn it to the ground.