Joe Biden is the 'Friends' of 2020

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 30, 2019 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 30, 2019 |

In times of great stress and anxiety, what do you do when you come home from work after a hella sh*tty day at the office? Do you crack open a beer and say to yourself, “Maybe I should start watching Dear White People today. Or, do you think, “My boss has been yelling at me all day and threatening to fire me, so I think I’ll start watching The Handmaid’s Tale”?

That’s not what most people do during times of peak anxiety when they’re feeling stressed the hell out. They seek comfort in the familiar. There’s a reason Friends and The Office are still the two most popular shows on Netflix. Friends may be dated and problematic, but it’s comfortable. You know exactly what you’re getting because you’ve already seen every episode six times. There will be a lot of moments in which you cringe, and sometimes you’ll say, “Ack! Those gay jokes are insensitive and borderline offensive.” But then the laugh track soothes you back into your slumber because all you want to do is watch Joey eat another sandwich or wear all of Chandler’s clothes.

Joe Biden is the Friends of the 2020 election. He’s America’s response to Trump. They don’t want to watch Barry or Atlanta of Better Things, authentic television shows about real human and emotional experiences. Yes The Good Fight sounds fantastic, and everyone keeps talking about what a spectacular political satire it is, but no thanks! America wants Chanandler Bong. And “we were on a break!” and “Smelly cats.” Because there’s a goddamn monster in the White House and no one wants to take a chance on Warren or Harris, because they might get canceled after a year. There are eight seasons of Biden, and we know exactly what to expect from him: Bad jokes at Gunther’s expense.

The week after Joe Biden entered the race, his poll numbers have skyrocketed, according to a new CNN poll:

Biden: 39%
Bernie: 15%
Warren: 8%
Pete: 7%
Beto: 6%
Kamala: 5%
Everyone else: <2%

It’s not even close, and yes, Biden’s still out here with his problematic Monica Fatsuit and jokes about Chandler’s drag-queen father, but America’s like, “You know what? At least it’s not the Roseanne reboot.” And it’s not just those young, liberal white voters that Biden is stealing from Bernie — although, he’s definitely doing that, too — but people of color are also coming out for Uncle Joe.

New @CNN 2020 poll by race:

Among whites:
Biden 29%
Sanders 15%
Buttigieg 10%
Warren 8%
Harris 6%
O’Rourke 6%

Among non-whites:
Biden 50%
Sanders 14%
Warren 7%
Harris 4%
O'Rourke 4%
Buttigieg 3%

— Ryan Struyk (@ryanstruyk) April 30, 2019

And they’re excited to watch Friends again, because four years of Apocalyptic Duck Dynasty is long enough.

Voters who are "extremely enthusiastic" about voting for president in next year's election via @CNN poll:

Now: 45%
2015: 22%
2011: 28%
2007: 26%
2003: 19%

— Ryan Struyk (@ryanstruyk) April 30, 2019

And I get it! I mean, I wish people would tune in to Barry and Atlanta and The Good Fight and The Handmaid’s Tale (at least the first season) because they’re much better, more progressive, and far more substantive series, but I understand why they want to watch Friends again. We live in terrifying times, and I guess the American people are willing to overlook the fact that Ross tried to hook up with his cousin because his cousin looked like Denise Richards. It’s the wrong choice because have you seen ‘Barry’, but I understand the sentiment.