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Joe Biden is Officially Running for President

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 25, 2019 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 25, 2019 |


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Former Vice President Joe Biden made it official this morning, announcing that he’d run for the Democratic nomination in 2020.

It’s a good campaign kick-off ad, and I appreciate that he took it to Trump by highlighting Charlottesville in it. But look: I might have voted for Joe in 2016. In fact, given the glow of Obama at the time, I probably would have. This year, he is not my first choice. He’s not even among my top five choices. He’s got baggage: He’s handsy. Anita Hill. A Senate record that can be used against him (including sponsoring a bill to make it impossible to discharge student debt in bankruptcy proceedings, which he basically pushed through the Senate for Delaware at the expense of generations of students).

I’m not going to vote for him in the primary. Many of the readers of this site also will not. I’m probably also going to talk shit about him until the primary because there are other candidates I’d much rather see become President.

But if he wins the nominations — and he’s the frontrunner, and he very well might — I will line the hell up behind Joe Biden. It won’t be a hard decision. I think he’s probably the candidate best suited to beat Trump, because older folks love Joe, and as much as I wish it weren’t the case, older voters still make up a huge segment of the Democratic party. In a head-to-head matchup, Biden holds an 8 point lead over Trump. He can win Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin. He knows how to take it to Trump, and Trump’s Presidency actually makes it easier for voters to forgive a gaffe-prone candidate like Biden. Trust me, Joe is gonna make an ass of himself more than a few times, and he’s going to piss off a lot of young people. That’s probably going to endear him more to older voters, and voters in the Midwest. The female candidates are going to say one wrong thing, and it’s going to define them. Joe is gonna trip all over himself, and voters are gonna laugh it off. It’s going to infuriate a lot of people, rightfully so.

And if Biden wins, it’s not going to be one of those warm, fuzzy moments in American history, like when Obama won. Or like if Kamala or Elizabeth or Mayor Pete won. But my God, it will be a relief. There will be no tears of joy, but collectively, the country will let loose the biggest collective exhale in the history of the United States.

I like it when candidates talk about their policy proposals. I like it when they talk about what they can do for the future of the country. That’s not what Joe is gonna do. He’s gonna talk a lot about the “soul of this nation,” which is his way of saying, “I am the best chance you got to get rid of the rotten, orange pumpkin in the White House.” It’s gonna be two candidates slinging mud, and honestly, with Trump in the race, it was probably always going to be that way. Joe can sling right back, and like Trump, the mud doesn’t stick to him. Also, Barack and Michelle are gonna be on the campaign trail, and I can’t be mad at that.

In other words, good luck, Joe. I hope you get your ass handed to you in the primaries, but if you don’t, I look forward to seeing you kick Trump’s ass. Pick a good VP, because it is my understanding that you’re only going to stick around for four years to clean up Trump’s mess, so pick someone well suited to take over. If it’s Biden/Kamala, I won’t be mad at that.