Last night at the Republican debate, a thing that I think used to be not the place to discuss penis size, Donald Trump discussed the size of his Little Drumpf. Gross.
But here’s the thing about Trump: he’s always gross all the time. Here are some other brags he’s made about his yuge dick and the things he can do with it.
“Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers. The person who came up with the expression ‘the weaker sex’ was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye — or perhaps another body part.” - The Art of the Comeback
“Of course, it’s very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I’m so good looking.” - Meet the Press
“I’ve never had any trouble in bed.” - Surviving at the Top
“I remember attending a magnificent dinner being given by one of the most admired people in the world. I was seated next to a lady of great social pedigree and wealth. Her husband was sitting on the other side of the table, and we were having a very nice but extremely straight conversation. All of a sudden I felt her hand on my knee, then on my leg. She started petting me in all different ways. I looked at her and asked, ‘Is everything all right?’ I didn’t want to make a scene in a ballroom full of five hundred VIPs. The amazing part about her was who she was — one of the biggest of the big. She then asked me to dance, and I accepted. While we were dancing she became very aggressive, and I said, ‘Look, we have a problem. Your husband is sitting at the table, and so is my wife.’
‘Donald,’ she said. ‘I don’t care. I just don’t care. I have to have you, and I have to have you now.’ I told her that I’d call her, but that she had to stop the behavior immediately. She made me promise, and I did. When I called I just called to say hello, and that was the end of that.
But the level of aggression was unbelievable. This is not infrequent, it happens all the time.” - The Art of the Comeback
“You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body. She made a lot money as a model—a tremendous amount.” - The Howard Stern Show
“She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” - The View
“Yeah, [Ivanka’s] really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father…” - Rolling Stone