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Donald Trump Has F**ked Himself with North Korea

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 11, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | August 11, 2017 |

Yesterday, Donald Trump doubled down on his “fire and fury” comments toward North Korea, saying maybe he should have been even tougher, and adding that they should “get their act together or it will be in big trouble.”

This is a familiar refrain for most parents — in fact, many of us mockingly added our own parental comments on Twitter (“I will pull this car over right now!”) — but as almost any parent can tell you, there’s no real follow-up. Empty fucking threats, people. I don’t know how many times I have said, “You better listen to me or you’re going to be in BIG TROUBLE,” or how many times I have counted down from five, just praying that they will do what they’re asked before I get to 1 because I got nothing in the arsenal. What am I going to do? Spank them? In 2017? And get DHS called on me?

In Trump’s case, DHS is the International Community, and if Trump preemptively strikes North Korea, guess who the bad guy is? The United States. China has already said that if we try to overthrow their regime, they will side with North Korea. If we do anything, South Korea and Japan will turn against us (if there’s anything left of them). We will be the bullies. We will be the bad guys.

In high school, an obnoxious fucking kid about half my size used to talk shit about me every single day. He would mock the hell out of me in front of everyone. He was the worst. THE WORST. But he was inoculated by his size. He knew no one would fuck with him, because it would make them look bad. And it worked, too. One day, he said something so heinous to me that I turned around and pushed him, and everyone gasped at me. I was the bad guy for pushing this fucking kid who humiliated me every day of my life. But they were just words, because that’s all he had, and I absolutely should not have pushed him because it gave him exactly what he wanted.

Trump’s gotta know that about North Korea. They’re the little guy. I mean, he’s gotta know that. There’s nothing he can do. Any act of aggression will set off North Korea, and within minutes, Seoul and Tokyo (and 100,000 American troops) are gone. Even for Donald Trump, that is political suicide, and in a world where Trump cares only about winning, he’s gotta know that there’s no victory there.

So, the man is just going to talk tough, and he’s not going to do anything, and the more he talks tough, and the less he acts, the less respect anyone has for him. It will be The Wall all over again … a future promise that he’ll never act upon. And I think even North Korea knows that, which is why they’re baiting Trump. They’re trolling him, trying to make him look weak. And it’s working!

Dude, there is no military solution. The military solution is “Get Seoul and Tokyo blown to smithereens.” That’s it. That’s not a solution. That’s devastation.

You deal with North Korea like you deal with Internet trolls. You ignore them. You don’t try to out-troll them. You give them the respect of a Twitter egg with 19 followers (half of which are bots), which is to say no respect at all. All Trump has done is to ensure that the Twitter egg has gained more followers. He’s given them respect by taking their threat seriously.

It’s pathetic. I don’t know a lot about foreign diplomacy, but I can’t imagine there’s been that many bigger fails in American diplomatic history, and the longer it goes on, the weaker Donald Trump looks.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.