I know you folks hate coverage of Trump supporters, and I hear you. I do, too. But god help me, I can’t help but read them sometimes because I am befuddled by how their minds work. For the most part, I usually anticipate a lot of barely veiled racism, a healthy dose of hypocrisy, and a heaping amount of ignorance.
One thing that still blows my mindhole out the back of my skull, however, is the notion that there is a segment of the population who actually believes Donald Trump. To wit: CNN interviewed a group of Trump-supporting women after watching Stormy Daniels on 60 Minutes Sunday night. My expectation before listening to their responses was that they were probably going to go the hypocritical route: “Oh, what he does in his personal life doesn’t matter,” though if Obama had slept with a porn star soon after Malia or Sasha were born, obviously they’d demand his immediate impeachment and imprisonment.
That’s not the tack they take, however. They actually believe Donald Trump. I didn’t know people like that existed anymore.
A few choice quotes to enrage you on a Tuesday morning:
— “She was shopping her story for money, just like everyone else trying to make money off the Trump name.”
— The second woman — the sarcastic Southern lady who slut shames Stormy Daniels? I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone as quickly as I hated her. If there is a heaven and a hell, as she believes, sending her to the Bad Place will be the quickest decision God ever made. And I hope she’s sarcastic as hell about it, too. “Oh yeah, lady. You’re going straight to Heaven. We’ll get right on that!” *opens up trapdoor and drops her into the bowels of hell*
— “Should we believe the President of the United States or a stripper porn star? I go with the President of the United States.” OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.
— These Christian women believe that “God ordained Donald Trump to be the President of the United States.” Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! God?! The almighty and all-knowing? She looked upon the entire Earth, and she chose a guy with multiple bankruptcies, three wives, countless affairs, the reading comprehension of a 7th grader, the attention span of a third grader, and the moral compass of a detachable penis to be the President of the United States? These women clearly do not think very much of their God’s intelligence level.
— “He had to change as a person in order to become a better President.” LADY, this man has not changed one @#$ing iota before or after he became President. He’s the same disgusting, pussy-grabbing, moronic real-life Internet troll he has always been.
— As for why Trump’s Presidency is mired in scandal? “Someone is looking and shopping for these people to come out of the woodwork because it is demeaning for our President” … and all part of a plot to bring down Trump.
— As for the hush money paid to Stormy Daniels? They actually don’t believe that Trump had anything to do with it. They think it was entirely Michael Cohen. “Maybe he just thought he was doing a favor to try and quash some negativity, even though [the affair] didn’t happen. Just to get rid of a story that’s not even true.”
That is why, they think, that Trump didn’t sign the NDA. “Because he didn’t even know about it at all.”
And the thing is, I don’t doubt that they believe this. I think they have been so brainwashed by their peers, their family, and their church, that they actually believe the words coming out of their mouth.
All of which is to say: They are hopeless. If they are at all representative of Trump voters, there is nothing that can be done to change their mind. Trump could fuck Mike Pence on the desk of the Oval Office during a primetime news conference, and these women would call us homophobic for suggesting that it’s inappropriate to have sex on camera during the family hour.