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Can We Talk About Dr. Seuss's Boners?

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | March 9, 2021 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | March 9, 2021 |


Folks mostly at Fox News have been talking about Dr. Seuss a lot in the last week or so after his own estate’s decision to pull six of Dr. Seuss’s books from publication because the racial and ethnic stereotypes in the books “are hurtful and wrong.” This elicited outrage from the right-wing media and cries of cancel culture from the likes of Tucker Carlson, even though the estate of Dr. Seuss continues to make $33 million a year.

The controversy reached a fever pitch late last week when the Republican leader of the House of Representatives decided to read a Dr. Suess book on Twitter, although you’ll notice that he did not read any of the books that the estate pulled because, you know, those are hurtful and wrong.

What no one seems to be talking about, however, are Dr. Seuss’s Boners. Remember One Million Moms, the original culture cancelers? Where are they on Dr. Suess’s Boners, huh? Because before Thing 1 and Thing 2, there was Boner 1 and Boner 2! Dr. Seuss, in fact, had a whole series of Boners. He’s got Boners, and More Boners, and Still More Boners, and if that’s not enough Dr. Seuss Boners for you, there’s also Prize Boners. And if you don’t want to buy the Boners individually, you can get a Boners compilation called The Omnibus Boners and The 2nd Boners Omnibus.

There are so many Dr. Seuss Boners! In fact, the first book of Boners features 22 illustrations of Boners drawn by Dr. Seuss himself! 22 Boner drawings!


Alas, it appears that Dr. Suess’s Boners are no longer in print. Why isn’t Tucker Carlson making a federal case about it? This is the real cancel culture!

(This post is brought to you by my 13-year-old son, who has never laughed so hard in his life than when discovering Dr. Seuss’s series of Boner books.)

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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