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'Bernie or Bust' is the Rallying Cry of Privileged Assholery

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | March 30, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | March 30, 2016 |

I like Bernie Sanders. In a lot of ways, I prefer his politics to that of Hillary Clinton, and even though I’m a Clinton voter, I’d be ecstatic if Bernie won the primary because I think he might even have a better shot than Hillary at beating Trump (although, I think Hillary has a much better chance at enacting legislation than Bernie). He’s a good guy, with great policies, none of which I disagree with (except for the part about the guns).

I also loved another Vermonter in 2004, Howard Dean. He was a brilliant idealist, if not a little too ahead of his time. However, when Dean blew up his campaign by expressing too much enthusiasm to be considered Presidential (oh, how things have changed in 12 years), I didn’t think, “You know what? Fuck it. I’m going to vote for George W. Bush instead of John Kerry just to spite John Kerry and his loyalists.” I didn’t think much of the wealthy, career-politician John Kerry, but I also wasn’t an asshole.

Presidential elections are not a time for voting out of spite. If Bernie doesn’t win, don’t be a privileged dipshit and abstain from voting because you want to see the world burn, as Susan Sarandon has suggested she may do.

Susan Sarandon may not vote at all if Hillary wins by tommyxtopher

That’s some selfish, short-sighted bullshit right there. Sure, you stick it to Hillary and her supporters, but you also stick it to yourself and the rest of the country for at least four goddamn years. And if Trump were elected, it won’t be what you think. He won’t bring about a “revolution” from liberal America. People thought the same thing when George W. Bush was elected, but instead of a revolution, we got another W. term. Because we are all fundamentally lazy people. Allowing an asshole to run the country into the ground is not how you start a revolution! You want a “revolution,” Sarandon? Leave the safety of your mansion in Los Angeles and go to Abkhazian. Go to Yemen. Or Egypt. Or the Ukraine. Put down your shopping bags and your smart phone and go burn down a building in Kyrgyz.

Look: If Trump wins, the place won’t go immediately into the toilet. Presidents only wield so much power. He’ll say some dumb shit, and we’ll all grouse about it and pray that he does something impeachable, but he’ll keep governing. We’ll complain for a week, and that week will turn into a month, and then a year, and then we’ll grow numb to it. We’ll tune it out, just as we have done with LePage here in Maine. Changes will accrue incrementally, and we’ll hardly even notice until it’s too late. For instance, all the bullshit we are feeling today from the primarily came as a result of a 2010 midterm election and the subsequent gerrymandering that has silently and slowly ruined Congress.

Likewise, at the end of a four-year Trump term, it won’t reset. Even if the country learns from its dumbass mistake (and Bernie or Bust voters grow up), electing someone else won’t immediately fix it. Four years of Trump can’t simply be reversed come 2020. Four years of Trump is not something that can be quickly unfucked. He’ll be enacting legislation, laws that will become entrenched (as much as the GOP hates Obamacare, even if a Republican is elected, Obamacare is going to stick for at least another two decades. That’s what’s going to happen to Trump’s legislation, too). Trump will be destroying our relationships with the rest of the world, and he’ll be putting people on the Supreme Court, justices who may give him more unilateral power and us even fewer civil liberties. And those assholes will be on the court for a goddamn lifetime. Do you really want a couple of sidecar clowns deciding important Constitutional issues until 2045?

No, no you don’t.

What I’m saying is, Susan Sarandon, you’re a brilliant actress, but your political ideology has shit for brains, and this whole Bernie or Bust movement is the self-serving, entitled bullshit of people who won’t have to worry about a Trump election because they’re not black, or Muslim, or a woman. Go home, Bernie or Bust people. You’re drunk. But please sober up and show up at the polls this November and vote for your version of the lesser of two evils, because that’s the goddamn American way.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.