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Some Of Y'all Need To Put Your Head On Straight And Remind Yourself Who the Real Goddamn Enemy Is

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | January 24, 2020 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | January 24, 2020 |


I have a separate Twitter lists of all my favorite book authors, and sometimes if I don’t feel like wading into politics, I’ll check out that Twitter feed for a few minutes of respite, but wouldn’t you know it. Politics went and messed that up for me, too, this morning.

Celeste Ng? Are you f**king kidding me? You motherf***kers. You can hardly find a better friend of the liberal cause than her! Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you? Have you f**king forgot who the real enemy is?

People may or may not have noticed it, but whenever I write about Trump these days, I always use a photo of him from the backside, because I don’t want to look at the man’s face, and I don’t want to foist his face on all of you. But I think some people may have forgotten who the goddamn enemy is, so let me remind you real quick.


That’s your goddamn enemy. Not this woman, who just wants to make a plan and follow a plan. She is not a snake. She’s an organizer.

GettyImages-1076221898.jpgThis guy is not your enemy, either, and I don’t care if some podcaster most of America knows as the host of Fear Factor endorsed him.


You know who endorsed this guy?


David f**king Duke. That right there is your enemy. Not this guy, who is a very well-intentioned novelty who has brought a lot of good attention to the idea of Universal Basic Income.


This guy is a pud, but he’s not the enemy, either.


Why are we even talking about this woman? She’s not even running! She’s his enemy, not ours!


No, this woman is not the enemy, either. She’s not even worth expending energy over. GettyImages-1165961844.jpg

Whenever I see a new poll, or another Democrat trending ahead, I’ll start to tell my wife, and she’ll hold her hand up and dismiss me. “I don’t care,” she’ll say either explicitly or implicitly. “It doesn’t matter. Whoever it is, I will vote for her or him. Just point me in the right direction.” And I’ll say, “OK, but if do you have a first choice, who is it?” and she’ll say again, “It doesn’t matter. I will vote for this guy in a heartbeat over Donald Trump.”


And you know what? She might have to.


And if she does, that’s just fine, because Toaster Biden is better than this guy, and don’t you f**king forget it.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

Header Image Source: Getty Images