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Ashley Judd Tells the Least Surprising, Most Vomitous Donald Trump Story

By Courtney Enlow | Politics | July 28, 2016 |

By Courtney Enlow | Politics | July 28, 2016 |

Donald Trump is gross and thinks women are yapping Fleshlights, essentially. Shock of awes. That’s why this story Ashley Judd told Jezebel last night is super unsurprising, but still acts as a verbal ipecac so powerful I think a piece of esophagus fell out.

Judd is a friend of the family, or rather she has a friend who found herself married into said family, that poor woman, and as such, Judd has caught Trump’s eye a time or two. Or rather, she’s caught Trump’s eyes on her two.

“I think I can say the amount of time he has spent looking at my chest rather than my face is proportional to his insanity and functionality,” she said.

“If I may, this is what it’s like to talk to Donald Trump.” Judd stopped and stared pointedly at my chest. “He’s a chest gazer, a breast gazer, let’s be more specific—and, referring to the person who at that time was married into the family, he just sexualized her. ‘Doesn’t she look great? Doesn’t she look—?’ He’s just revolting.”

One time in college, this kinda creepy, super awkward guy in my dance class walked with me to the train. When his came, he did this weird launch hug at me and grazed my boob. And my boob was mad for the rest of the day. Like, physically hot with rage and discomfort. Can you imagine how mad your boob would be if Donald Trump grazed it? It might actually spontaneously combust. I’d have to just throw the whole thing away. This has been tainted and is trash now.

Anyway, hope images of Donald Trump delicately brushing your breasts don’t fill your nightmares tonight. Have a super day.

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