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A Very Special Message from Tucker Carlson About the State of the American Male

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 18, 2022 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 18, 2022 |

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One of the biggest stories of our lifetimes is the total collapse of testosterone levels in American men. As viewers of my show know, men in American society have been experiencing sudden drops in their testosterone levels for the last two decades. This is not me saying this. I’m not pulling this out of thin air. This is science. You can read about it in any textbook. Prominent experts in the field have recorded actual evidence of this drop in male testosterone levels.

The reason, of course, is self-evident. It began years ago, the first time a woman asked her husband to carry her purse. The request itself is scientifically proven to reduce the sperm count in men. There are studies backing this up. Countless studies in actual scientific journals. And every time a woman wins an argument, earns a higher salary than her husband, or cuts off a man in traffic, the collective testosterone levels of American men drop again. I wish I was making this up. But it’s true according to study after study. The testosterone levels in men have been declining by roughly 10 percent every decade. Every time a man is upbraided by a woman on social media, it changes the way men are at the most fundamental level.

NIH doesn’t think this is a big deal at all. We think it is a huge deal. That’s exactly what our latest original, The End of Men, is designed to address and remedy. If we want to reverse the deleterious effects of reduced testosterone in America, there’s only one way to do it. And again, I’m not saying this. The method is scientifically proven to work according to every expert in the field. If we want to take back our manliness, we have to gaze upon the male form in all its glory. It is our imperative. Every time we look at a glistening male chest, our testosterone levels inch upward. Every time we gaze at the tight bare ass of an American male, we can actually feel our virility return. By simply taking in an eyeful of another man’s throbbing member, we can feel our masculinity spike.

This is our patriotic duty. We must drink raw eggs. We must tan our testicles on Tesla chargers. We must turn over large rubber tires. We must look longingly at a shirtless man while he chops down a tree. Men must remove their clothing, eat medium-rare steaks cooked on a grill, and wrestle with one another until our manly vigor returns, until our bodies are glistening with sweat, until our flaccid penises stiffen into patriotic salutes. It’s the only way to reclaim our manhood! We must do it. We must do it for America!