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Zombies And Nazis And ... Snowy Places OH MY!

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 18, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 18, 2011 |

I’m going to start the column with this story because you lovelies are a fickle lot and bored easily and if you click on any link today, I want it to be this one. (Also, stow your TL;DR impulse just this once.) In the summer of 2009, Pajiban Madeleine Roux began a fiction blog about a young woman during the zombie apocalypse. When Madeleine asked the then Pajiba Love link wench to feature it in the column one day, not only did the blog hits skyrocket, but St. Martins/Macmillan published the blog as the novel Allison Hewitt is Trapped. It goes on sale today! BEHOLD THE POWER OF YOU CLEVER PAJIBANS!!! Getting a book published is so damned difficult these days so all the congratulations in the world to the obviously talented Madeleine. I think you know what you need to do next, my little bookworms. Click on the link and buy that book. Heck, buy four. Christmas is only, like, eleven months away. (Amazon)

Are you jazzed? I’m jazzed. If I knew Madeleine personally and had, you know, some money and if this booze were actually for sale, I’d buy her a bottle of Shackleton’s whisky. It’s at least hundred years old AND THEY’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO DRINK IT. (BBC)

Oh! Oh! Maybe I could buy her one of Starbucks’ new Trenta-sized coffees. Who doesn’t want a steaming hot tureen o’ Joe? (National Post)

And maybe she likes it sweet? So we could carefully stack these cubes in it whilst playing “Korobeiniki”?! CLASSICAL MUSIC EARWORM’D! (Badass Digest)

Ok, I’m done talking about beverages and their accessories. Let’s talk about Hitler instead. That’s never not funny, right Ricky Gervais? (TBS)

So I’ve heard extraordinarily good things about the Hunger Games trilogy. Things like, “The new Harry Potter!” (um, except he’s the chosen one, but whatever) “Way better than Twilight!” (…) “Remember Ender’s Game? This book has ‘game’ in the title too!” Anyway, it’s supposed to be really very good and it’s popular so they’re obviously making a film out of it. In consideration for a role (Lead role? I’ve not read it yet, folks) is the talented Hailee Steinfeld who sort of killed it in True Grit. I obviously don’t have a horse in this race, but welcome the news as a respite from the recent Chloe Moretz onslaught. (Film School Rejects)

New England High School recently banned any physical contact between students more invasive/salacious/touchy than a handshake. Did you just flash to visions of hall monitors with bull horns barking, “NO TOUCHING!!!”? Awww, I miss “Arrested Development” too, guys. The real story here, though, is how one student reacted with a thoughtful petition and protest. (Boing Boing)

So this article is trying to convince me that Finland is some new super country. They failed to impress with their claims of “least corrupt” and “happiest citizens.” Sure, sure, Finland, but it’s, like, really cold where you are and you don’t even have an IKEA. But then the article mentioned the words “invented” and “the Angry Birds game.” You, Finland, are a treasure. Stay frosty! (Tech Crunch)

And finally, you little minxes, I avoid mocking right-wing nutjobs, because a) it’s really too easy and b) my dad’s a (non-nutjob) conservative and I think he reads this column. Wave to my dad, folks. Hi, dad! Okay, but in mocking this video I’m not snickering at the Right, I’m snickering at the crazy. That’s better, yeah? So here it is, folks, the “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” repurposed as an ode to our “favorite” maverick.

Joanna Robinson she won’t listen to their bunk, Joanna Robinson’s coming south to hunt some skunk. Wait, is “skunk” a racial slur??! Let me know here: [email protected]

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