Oh fuck you, Zack Snyder. OF COURSE Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead is his next project OF COURSE IT IS. You are so painfully predictable. (Deadline)

Let’s all take a moment to celebrate the nearly one year anniversary of Affleshookus! Is that what they’re calling it? Because I love a portmanteau that sounds like a sneeze. Affleshookus! Gesundheit! (Lainey)

Melania has not been seen in public since May 10th, and that’s totally normal for someone who has recently undergone surgery, but if Michelle Obama had disappeared from the public eye for three weeks, Trump would have come up with some insane, nefarious conspiracy theory. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of Melania, her spokeswoman went after journalist April Ryan over a story she retweeted from The Root that the spokeswoman clearly never bothered to read, because reading is not in the job description of those people. (The Root)

On the one hand, there’s no need to make something gross out of William H. Macy wanting healthy sex lives for his daughters. Good for him! On the other hand, it’s awfully naive of Macy to believe that the 17-year-old boyfriend of Macy’s daughter, who sleeps over all the time, isn’t having sex with his daughter. I mean, dude. DUDE. (Dlisted)

I know that Jeff Goldblum is Mr. Fashionable, but good lord, this ensemble is straight-up awful. (GFY)

With everything going to hell in a gold-plated wastebasket in America, Ireland is looking like a very attractive alternative, especially after voting overwhelmingly in favor of abortion rights. (The Mary Sue)

Meanwhile:

What a day for the Irish: first a resounding 'Yes', and then the 'Oliver Cromwell' sinks whilst trying to cross the Irish Sea… https://t.co/QiuexMYL3o

— Tom Charlton (@Baxterianae) May 26, 2018

I actually took a social media break for most of the weekend, which was amazing. What’s not so amazing is being hit with so much dumb all at once upon my return. I don’t know which Tweet sets me off the most. This one, because Jeff Sessions and John Kelly bragged about this policy just one month ago?

Put pressure on the Democrats to end the horrible law that separates children from there parents once they cross the Border into the U.S. Catch and Release, Lottery and Chain must also go with it and we MUST continue building the WALL! DEMOCRATS ARE PROTECTING MS-13 THUGS.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 26, 2018

Or this one, though the “White House source” was recorded and ON THE RECORD:

The Failing @nytimes quotes “a senior White House official,” who doesn’t exist, as saying “even if the meeting were reinstated, holding it on June 12 would be impossible, given the lack of time and the amount of planning needed.” WRONG AGAIN! Use real people, not phony sources.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 26, 2018

Or this one, which is just, wha?

Who’s going to give back the young and beautiful lives (and others) that have been devastated and destroyed by the phony Russia Collusion Witch Hunt? They journeyed down to Washington, D.C., with stars in their eyes and wanting to help our nation…They went back home in tatters!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 27, 2018

Ha ha ha ha ha hah aha ha. WHO WILL THINK OF HOPE HICKS?

I was going to watch Amazon’s six-part miniseries Picnic at the Hanging Rock over the holiday weekend, but certain reviews (including this one) steered me clear (I watched Netflix’s Safe instead. Maybe I’ll write about it tomorrow). (FSR)

Speaking of Amazon, it has officially picked up The Expanse for season 4. (Hypable)

So many lovely details in this. Let me just tease you with the headline: “How a chef’s three-year battle against a giant rat ended in an armed police call-out.” (Eastern Daily Press)

True-crime fanatics can look here for a complete list of Netflix offerings based on real crimes. (Ranker)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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