Hi! How was your Thanksgiving? My fire alarm went off only three times and I consumed my bodyweight in coconut, so overall the holiday was a success. Nearly everyone is recovering from their food comas, so the links today might be more, ah, eclectic than ushe.
There are some stupid pictures of Malia Obama on the internet today, but I’m too tired to even get mad about them, so here is some scoop on her new boyfriend instead. His name is Rory. And he plays rugby. Rugby Rory. He’s also somehow related to the UK royal family. Royal Rugby Rory. Sounds like a cocktail. (Lainey Gossip)
Politico’s magazine cover story is Why 2020 Will Be the Year of the Woman and I have two things to say about this: 1. hell yes and 2. this should be the baseline going forward for, let’s say, all eternity. (Politico)
I was very excited to see The Current War because Tesla is my jam and I like Cumberbatch, however, the movie release is being held back due to it being a Weinstein Company flick. Even with the delay, BCumbs did some promo work for the movie, including this interview with Thom Yorke. If you think that sounds super hipsterish wait until you see the photos. It’s … a lot. (Celebitchy)
NPR has a few never-before-seen pictures of Prince, and nnggghhhhhhh, sorry for the drool. (NPR)
Are you a fan of the National Dog Show? Then maybe you’ll enjoy this article on the history of poultry pageants. I mean, who doesn’t want to read about pretty chickens the day after eating turkey, right? (The Week)
Sesame Street is a treasure and I don’t know if we deserve it. They did a parody of Stranger Things and it’s just as wonderful as you imagine. (Gizmodo)
This sentence made me cackle so hard: “While dressed like a business casual Friday dad, Derek flutters onto the stage like a majestic homo butterfly”. He truly, truly does. (Dlisted)
Wait. You guys. Put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. What if…WHAT IF Malia marries Rory, and then she becomes, I dunno, Viscountess, and she decides to follow her dad’s footsteps. And she runs for office. And she gets elected President. But she’s also a Royal. And the monarchy comes back to America. Which, look, I’m not a fan of monarchies per say, but if it was Obama’s daughters? I think I’m good with that. Just imagine, for a moment, the Conservative outrage.
Am I in a diabetic coma? Is this what a diabetic coma does to your brain? Oh boy.
Out of all the Disney relationships, which one do you think is the most problematic? I’m slightly biased against Eric and Ariel because Ariel was a total jerk to Ursula and made her out to be the villain, which was not great for my earlier career as a nanny. Here is a ranking of other Disney relationships. (Nylon)
The Fug Girls cover Emilia Clarke’s Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot and the second picture is dreamy. (GFY)
Do we want to talk about Oscar Pistorius’ prison sentence being doubled from six years to 13? We all agree that six years for murder is weird and stupid, yes? Good. (Jezebel)
Your moment of zen:
Ursula lives in Chicago and likes potatoes very much. You can follow her here.