You Think A Fast Food Spokesman Can't Be Classy, Suave And Sexy? Ah, Then You've Severely Underestimated Clive Owen
And this is how the year ends, not with a bang, but a link dump. I’ve had so much fun with you all this year. Here’s the last Pajiba Love of 2011!
Remember how that “Wonder Woman” pilot was terrible and everyone, including Adrienne Palicki’s boobs, hated the costume? Well David E. Kelley is bringing unsexy back by stuffing another young brunette into the same costume for his Kathy Bates show. I can’t remember the name of the show. “A Complete Waste Of Bates”? Something like that. Photos of the aforementioned stuffing if you click ze link. (The Mary Sue)
Speaking of unsexy, check out these disturbing images of abandoned brothels. (Environmental Graffiti )
And on the other end of the spectrum, we have the world’s sexiest zombie, Joshua Jackson (R.I.P.). As a year-end treat for me, the Fug Girls did a Pacey Retrospectfug. (GFY)
Hey! As a year-end treat for you, how about a semi sports-related link? Okay, fine, it’s football haikus. But they’re pretty great. (The Awl)
If you’re already washing your hands of 2011, here are 20 whimsical film release dates to look forward to in 2012. You guys, I’m ashamed to say, I LOL-ed. “The Dark Knight Rises opens! To quote Bane, the film’s excited villain: ‘Fghrlkdjhafskdfbldkbsj.’” (MovieLine)
Ah but if no future movie excite you, take a stroll down memory lane with these film alphabets from the 80s and 90s. Bet you can’t name all 52. (Uproxx)
There are a lot of End Of Year lists flying around, but none are more informative than this list of “100 Things We Didn’t Know Last Year.” Many thanks to Captain Tuttle. This could keep you busy until 2012. (BBC)
If you found that list too erudite, here is Film Drunk’s magnificent list of the 10 Most Insane News Stories Of 2011. If, like, me, you’ve been paying any attention, you already know what #1 will be. (FilmDrunk)
Um, I completely disagree with this “Worst New Year’s Eve Scenes” list. NOTHING is better than Jackie Wilson and a dance-y Statue Of Liberty covered in goo. NOTHING. (Moviefone)
Because, listen, worst things could happen. Check out these 23 Bizarre Objects Ceremonially Dropped on New Year’s Eve. No, sir, not your pants. Keep it together. (MentalFloss)
As you ring in the New Year, soaked to the gills in Champange Cocktails, please feel free to ignore the GOOP and her advice on how to cure a hangover. Much like everything else she does, this is wrong wrong wrong. B.D. Wrong. Country Wrong. To Wrong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. (Gothamist)
I think Clive Owen is able to maintain his dignity in this Burger King commercial thanks largely to the fact that I have no idea what’s going on. It’s dubbed in Spanish. And while I speak some Spanish, I did not understand much beyond “hamburguesa.” If any Spanish speakers want to clue us in, that would be dreamy. Eating at Burger King makes you feel like The Croupier? Is that the gist?
And, finally, we end with another commercial. It’s been the Year of The Muppet (and no that’s not my nickname for Fassbender’s piece). Despite a somewhat disappointing box office debut, The Muppets continue to charm and shill up to the bitter end. Here they are demonstrating the virtues of Google+. I hate that site, but rock on, Muppets. Rock on.