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You See, Gwyneth? People Don't Like You Because You Keep Saying Stupid Sh** Like This

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | July 30, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | July 30, 2013 |

Stand back, everyone: Gwyneth Paltrow, who claims to have the butt of a “22-year-old stripper,” says that the secret to a good life is to allow yourself to be “naughty” occasionally, which is why she “Allow(s) herself programmed treats—I often have a glass of red wine in the evening and smoke a cigarette on a Saturday.” Programmed treats? “One cigarette on a Saturday.” We are at DEFCon robot crazy. (E! Online)

You know what’s impressive? Television actresses who have been around for 20 years and still got it. Like these 20 lovely ladies. (Uproxx)

These 24 shocking before and after photos that you won’t believe are real are actually pretty goddamn great (the “Three Stooges” one was my favorite). (Cracked)

Katy Perry looks great here. Who knew it took the Smurfs to bring out the best in her? (GFY)

You want some advice on how to be more creative? You won’t get any better than from John Cleese. (Unreality)

Margaret Lyons, who is amazing, takes a look at Aaron Sorkin’s obsession with Dad rock. It is a weakness, I will admit. (Vulture)

Kristen Bell’s “Would You Rather” Illustrated, With Sloths. Adorable. (Buzzfeed)

The cute redhead that Benedict Cumberbatch is holding hands with in these images is JUST A FRIEND. Most of us don’t hold hands with our opposite sex friends, but maybe they’re different in Hollywood. (He is so scamming her). (Celebitchy)

It kind of irks me, actually, that some critics have gotten to see early episodes of Breaking Bad because, why? It’s not like anyone needs a review to know whether to see it, and the only thing that can really come of it are spoilers and smug critics who lord their early access over the rest of us mere pedestrians. Come on, Gilligan. Take a note from Weiner on this: Let us all experience the final season together. Anyway, if you’re curious, this is what critics are saying. (Slashfilm)

The most interesting actor of his generation is this guy? Oh, I know a lot of people reading this will beg to differ. (Fark)

I think we all know that “Happy Birthday” is a copyrighted song, for which royalties have to be paid anytime it’s performed on the telly. But did you know who the profits go to? It’s not so bad, actually. (Mental Floss)

Where did Donald Glover go? Is he trying to create a mysterious personae by disappearing? (WG)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.