Hello again, my little snowflakes. Yes, once again you’re blessed with my Pajiba Love stylings twice in one month. It’s because I just have so much love to give. Also, one of these links is secretly a bomb filled with feces. Good luck.
Feces bombs aside, I like to think that I’m a pretty good father. And then sons of motherless goats like this guy show up and put us all to shame with (wait for it) a Calvin & Hobbes themed nursery - complete with tree fort. Sorry, Mini-TK, you’re gonna have to live with your Very Hungry Caterpillar room. (Gizmodo)
Now that we’ve created a Pajiba Gamers Facebook page, I know that there are a substantial number of gamers among you. Well, it’s worth knowing that most of you (myself included) are fucking insane, especially when it comes to the wonderful Mass Effect Series. (Cinema Blend)
Speaking of insane? This leather Cthulhu mask is insane… ly awesome. Sadly, it sold on Wednesday, and not to me. I’d have worn this thing every day, and hopefully it would have driven everyone around me to run screaming. (Etsy)
You know what makes me want to run away screaming? The bus. This comic perfectly sums up why I loathe public transportation. Strangers give me the heeber jeebers, man. (Chuck & Beans)
Also likely to cause screaming? The Governor from “The Walking Dead.” In case you forgot why he’s such a terrible person, here are a few reminders. (Warming Glow)
Li’l more Glow for you: I say this without any exaggeration: “The View” aside, Barbara Walters is one of the greatest women in entertainment history — she’s absolutely one of the true trailblazers. She’s also retiring at an astonishing 85 years young. Our man Dustin gives her a fitting retrospective. (Warming Glow)
And at the other end of the spectrum: Britney Spears. Born-again virgin. No punchline required. (Celebitchy)
I swiped a couple of these next links from the ever-active Pajiba Facebook page, which you should catch up with. First, a list of words we should absolutely bring back. You guys, I need the word “cockalorum” in my life. (Buzzfeed)
This week’s fresh new hell is famous actresses without teeth. You’re so very welcome. (Pleated Jeans)
Sadly, Ashley Judd is not going to run for the Kentucky senate seat, and the Republican party is likely devastated because they thought she’d be their version of Todd Akin/Joe Walsh/Allen West/Richard Mourdock/I’ll stop now. Of course, the idea was faulty to start with because Judd isn’t, you know, a raving, ignorant idiot. (Slate)
While we’re on gay rights (sort of), since this is kind of a big week for ‘em, here’s an excellent breakdown/take-down of Roberts and Scalian’s hijinks with regard to the DOMA challenge. (Angry Black Lady Chronicles)
Let’s keep it going: gamer nerd/gay rights advocate/cool guy/NFL punter Chris Kluwe was on Aisha Tyler’s excellent Girl On Guy podcast this week. I highly recommend giving it a listen. (Girl On Guy)
Oh, and… Lana. LANA. LANAAAAA!!!! Danger zone — the supercut. Yuuuuup. (Unreality)
YOU GUYS. “Game Of Thrones” comes back ON SUN-FUCKING-DAY (FYI, this season’s recaps will now run on Mondays, not Tuesdays). And here’s a lookie at the dragons. FIRE AND BLOOD, PEOPLE.
Finally, Dan Carlson put it best regarding this one: “I can’t believe I’m naive enough to think “I’ve probably seen the weirdest thing on the Internet.” Every time I think that, I am proven horribly wrong.” This wackadoo (HIS. HAIR.) has what is likely the world’s largest collection of VCRs. I know that doesn’t really sell it, but this kind of dedicated crazy must be seen to be believed. Keep in mind, folks, this gentleman has over 1,600 videos up on Youtube. No, no, please - don’t thank me.