Good morrow to you, kind comment-type people. You might notice that I am, in fact, not Dustin Rowles. I’m taking over today’s PLove so that Our Venerable Overlord might celebrate his 8th anniversary with Mrs. Pajiba-Hyphenate. Happy Anniversary, you two crazy kids!
The Tator Tot has arrived! Channing “Charming Potato” Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum welcomed daughter Everly on Friday. Little Miss Everly will be dancing before she walks, mark my words! Aw, BABY!!! (People)
DON’T PANIC! Michael Douglas’s ex-wife wants you to know that her bajingo didn’t give him throat cancer. PHEW! (Celebitchy)
These Isla Fisher gifs should clean your brain of any thoughts of the previous link. Unless you like thinking about Michael Douglas having a husband bulge and doing…things. (Uproxx)
I know that some of you have PTSD from Sunday’s “Game of Thrones” episode. Hell, I knew what was coming and I still haven’t been able to make myself watch it, so I understand. I promise that this collection of the awesome Lena Headey’s Twitter exploits will not hurt you, kittens. (Buzzfeed)
This imagining of Game of Thrones characters as The Gathering cards will also soothe you. Probably. (Unreality)
Perhaps you’d like to decompress with some gorgeous steampunk pieces, including a sweet octopus? DO IT ANYWAY. (Epbot)
Cronuts are the union of donuts and croissants into one odd-looking delight. Pastry chef Dominique Ansel’s creations are selling for $5 each. There is also a black market for them where people pay $40! (The Atlantic Wire)
I recently perused a reddit thread that asked police officers what crazy excuses they’ve heard from people. None of those can compare to the idiot taking upskirts that claimed he was just trying to light a fart. (Huffington Post)
Someone get the Mystery Team on these dictionary mysteries, STAT! Personally, I would like a definitive answer to when the first mullet was sighted. (Mental Floss)
If you are planning any air travel in your epic quest to track down the world’s first mullet, be sure to avoid doing any of the things on this list. They will straight kick your ass off the flight. (Oddee)
I’m 95% sure that randomly yelling these facts about American muscle cars will also lead to being escorted off of a plane. People just can’t stand to be educated, cripes. (Popular Mechanics)
Former Pajiba writer Brian Prisco has a Kickstarter in full-swing to raise funds for his writing. Visit his page if you are so inclined and would like to monetarily push him into writing twenty short stories. (Kickstarter)
Romano-Archives has uncovered color footage taken by French tourist Jean Vivier in 1939 New York. It is a beautiful, charming, and oddly soothing window into the past.
Finally, in celebration of the beautiful love shared by the Rowlesesessesss, I bring you the number one song on their wedding day. Enjoy.