Oh, it’s my turn to do this again, so let’s immediately get to shaking the pockets out of the Internet to see what we find amongst the lint and horded tater tots
Did you ever want the Ryan Gosling “Hey Girl” meme to be mashed with programming jokes? Of course you did.
To keep the nerdage flowing, we’ve also got this comic that combines a love for graphs and the eternal dilemma of drinking water before bed.
Here’s a wonderful site called the Atlas of True Names, which is a fantastic series of maps that label everything with translations of the original place names. It’s gorgeous and poetic and I want them for all my walls.
Dustin, while not trolling Craigslist for Thrones themed anonymous hookups, writes about how “Game of Thrones” would look as a Disney movie. Or rather talks about a video. To be reductivist, almost everything we do is talking about a video in one way, shape, or form.
In Los Angeles, a man was arrested after stealing an 18-wheeler full of strawberries. He thought that a zombie apocalypse had begun. Sadly he totaled the truck after becoming convinced that zombies were clinging to the sides and swerving repeatedly to knock them off. “It was unknown whether Hartline was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” Somehow this is Lori’s fault.
Apparently the president of Malawi is not a Madonna fan. The terrible abuses inflicted on her include being told she actually had to go through airport security with the rest of the peasants. Did you know that Madonna tried to pay $25 million to go up to the space station on a Russian rocket a few years ago, but the Russian parliament voted to not allow it?
In related space news, crying in space is terrifying.
Isaac Asimov is one of the all time great science fiction authors, and was an outspoken atheist before it became all trendy. He produced a series of videos back in the day promoting humanism and trying to explain non-religiousness to a religious world. Plus he wears plaid and has mutton chops so astonishing that you can taste the lamb through your computer screen.
As a bonus, here is a nuanced analysis of the difference between science fiction and other literature:
Today is going to be the siege warfare edition of Pajiba Love, at least for a few links.
For instance, you might realize that half of the cool stuff that happens in fantasy novels is ripped straight from history. Like the great chains to trap fleets at King’s Landing? Constantinople before the Turks gave it the works. And the Greek Fire? The Byzantines had that to. But some stories are so fantastic that if they showed up in fiction you just wouldn’t believe them. Oleg of Novgorod sailed a fleet of 2000 ships down the river to attack Constantinople but just went around the gates. Because he had mounted wheels on his fleet. I’ll reiterate that: his fleet had wheels. Bet Stannis wishes he’d thought to build some of these bad boys:
(that may not be an historically accurate model)
And these excerpts from the “Saga of Harald Hardrade” highlight an idea so terribly awesome that only a Lannister would think of it: capturing birds flying out of the city, strapping burning embers to their backs, and releasing them to go light their nests in the highly flammable straw roofs of the city on fire.
Need an even better visual? Tying rockets to cats as a form of siege warfare. I can’t imagine why that didn’t catch on.
This seems as good a place as any to present, super heroes as manatees:
The nexus of everything great in the universe is this Twitter feed for Archer Shepard, the intersection between Mass Effect and Sterling Archer. If you don’t understand how awesome that is, it cannot be explained, you must go play the games and watch the series.
God, Tali, shut up about losing your homeworld already! I get it, the quarian military sucks and got its ass kicked by walking lamps.— Archer Shepard (@ArcherShepard) April 10, 2013
In this video, a zebra is viciously attacked by a crocodile, and with not a Dundee in sight, seems to be doomed. Until a herd of hippos decide to stage a rescue.
That the zebra probably died of infection or predation is irrelevant to how awesome that video is.
Also, you should know that every time I write Pajiba Love, in my head I stretch “Pajiba” out to four syllables so it sounds like “California Love”:
It helps my process.