You all know the Pajiba Emergency Protocol In Case Of Zombie Attack, right? It involves the Murdertank, some chainsaws and just following the directions we’ve left at the bottom of every “Cannonball Read” post for the past few years. What’s that? YOU HAVEN’T BEEN CLICKING ON THE “CANNONBALL READ” POSTS? Ugh, books save lives, morons. Well I guess your best bet is to swim out to one of these Zombie fortresses. Good luck, godspeed and pray they’re not fast Zombies. (Nerd Approved)
I prefer slow, mellow zombies. Like, maybe we should give the Zombies some weed and they would just chillax and hang out and, um, okay, eventually get the munchies. Bad idea. Speaking of the Mary Jane, SCIENCE says marijuana does not cause any long term damage to your intelligence. SCIENCE, I love when you’re on my side. (The Awl)
The perfect proof? Well-known toker Hunter S. Thompson. Love him or hate him, you can’t deny the man’s intelligence. Take, for example, this Thompson penned Rolling Stone rejection letter that’s been making the rounds. (Gothamist) That letter and many others (e.g. Spielberg bitching about casting Temple of Doom) can be found on this magnificent site. (Letters of Note)
I’d like to write a letter to Charlie Day about the brilliance of Kitten Mittens. He, the Kitten Mittens and the rest of the It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia cast posed for a Sears-style portrait. It’s as adorable as you think it is. (Pop Culture Brain)
There’s something in the water, of late. Botox perhaps? Anyway, all the Hollywood ladies seem to be weighing in on plastic surgery. Yesterday we had the GOOP and Salma Hayek’s opinions, and today the much beloved Helen Mirren says she thinks plastic surgery on your face is dandy at a certain age but it troubles her on younger women. Okay. . . (Celebitchy)
But then here come three of my favorite English Roses, Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz and Emma Thompson who have formed a league (A LEAGUE! HOW SEXY! ARE THERE CAPES?) against plastic surgery. I love these women. I know the ladies over at Celebitchy believe Winslet has had Botox and is therefore a huge fraud, but I’m blinded by love and refuse to believe it. (Wish I Didn’t Know)
Because there was a story when I was in high school about how Kate Winslet was starving herself on the set of Sense and Sensibility (you can tell, she looks sort of waxy the whole time) and Emma Thompson told her to snap right out of it. The next time we saw her, in Titanic Winslet was much healthier looking. And then everyone called her fat. Because of course they did. Anyway, Winslet looks great now, as do Thompson and Weisz and, just for fun, here’s an adorable image of a younger Thompson and Winslet.
Rose McGowan is often criticized for her plastic surgery face, but I just found out recently that it’s reconstructive surgery from a car crash. A) I don’t know why I didn’t know that. B) That is a case where it’s ALWAYS acceptable to go under the knife, yes? Listen, I don’t blame McGowan for refusing to shave off her eyebrows and wax back her hairline for her Conan role. They did it with make-up instead. And you know what? She looks bitching. (Hollywood Reporter)
I’ve got a lot of stories about actresses today, folks. Not sure why. Anyway, I know a lot of you loathe Olivia Wilde and just as many want to use these vibrating gloves whenever you see her smiling face. Anyway, she says some cool things about “Star Trek,” Captain Janeway and how she would love to play an Enterprise Captain someday. Stop rolling your eyes, I think she’s pretty cool about it. (Bleeding Cool)
Also divisive among you Pajibans is Anne Hathaway. I know after the Oscars many more of you are in the “hate” category. I’m worried One Day won’t dissuade you. Hathaway talks about the haphazard nature of the filming, her accent, etc. in Interview. She also poses languidly with black lace. So that’s nice. (Celebitchy)
But I know several folks LOVED Hathaway’s Paparazzi rap on Conan the other night. In the style of L’il Wayne? I know, she’s no Natalie Portman, but she’s pretty cute.
Also cute? This kitten video. DAMNITALL. For those of you who are “Doctor Who” fans, this is an incredible homage to the famous “Blink” episode. For those of you who like kittehs. LOOK! KITTEH! (I feel unclean.) Thanks to duckandcover and Patty O’Green.
Joanna Robinson promises a sausagefest tomorrow to make up for the All You Can Eat Taco Party Pajiba Love today.