Was This The Best Part Of The Avengers? You Bet Scarlett Johansson's Kevlar-Clad Bum It Was.
Happy Friday my intrepid and inveterate internetters! Raise your hand if you have a Facebook account. Okay, good, that’s most of you. Now raise your hand if you’ve ever been baffled by why certain stories show up and other don’t. It’s confusing, no? Unless you have super tight control over your account (who has the time for that) there’s often no rhyme or reason as to who or what will pop up in your feed. Well, apparently Facebook is confusing like a FOX because, in future, you can pay to make sure your updates about your lunch or your recent Castleville victory (I don’t know what it is either) will appear in your friends’ newsfeed. That’s…that’s some heavy desperation there. (Business Insider)
Did somebody say desperation?! I try to lay off the Lohan because, like Britney, her life is strange and awful enough without me piling on. But, I will say this, “Lady, those chola eyebrows are doing you zero favors. Nice gams, though.” (Fug Girls)
As Dustin mentioned earlier, last night’s “Parks and Recreation” was one gloriously sappy half hour of television. In honor of Leslie Knope, one of the best characters currently on television, someone has combined the rise of Leslie with a “Friday Night Lights” score. That’s right, it’s double-barrel weeping time. (Tumblr)
And though Leslie’s breakfast food of choice is obviously the waffle, even she would admit that these pancakes are pretty boss. Dude, I can’t even master Mickey Mouse, let alone Nudibranch. Check out the amazing designs below and the hundreds more on this site. (Saipancakes)
So Stephen King has revealed the plot of his long-unawaited sequel to “The Shining.” I won’t give all the stupid details away, but I will mention that there are vampire-like creatures that live off steam. So, steampires…that’s happening. (SFX)
Speaking of vampires, it’s almost time for the return of my ultimate guilty pleasure show! Here are some new promo posters for the upcoming season of “True Blood” and the first look at Chris Meloni as the new fanged menace. That’s right, he’s got fangs. How do you like him now, Hargitay? (io9)
Would you watch a “Wonder Woman” show if this chick were the star. More importantly, would you watch a “Wonder Woman” show if this costume were the star? More photos of this kick-*ss Diana here. (FG)
Hey all you college grads, who was your commencement speaker? Someone awesome? I’m afraid this graduating class has you beat. (BioTV)
The amazing Willem Dafoe speaks in esoteric fortune cookie-isms about what he’s learned from his film career. You guys, apparently spitting on Tom Cruise is just as enjoyable as it looks! (Esquire)
Finally, I ate some crow last week when I admitted that Scarlett Johansson was my favorite part of The Avengers. (She got an impressive amount of screen time, too.) Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks Johansson was fantastic. So I’m sorry, you were right ScarJo fans. January Jones fans? I’m still gonna hate. (The Atlantic)
Finally, somewhat awkward teenaged kid, you are a beast on this acoustic guitar. May it get you all the dates. Here’s an astonishingly tolerable cover version of LMFAO’s obnoxious “Sexy And I Know It.” Seriously, kid, this better get you all kinds of laid.