Wait, Even Spielberg Hates Megan Fox? Sh*t, Girl, You're Screwed.
Ah, my nonpareils of beauty! Do any of you still watch pageants? I’ll confess I used to adore them when I was a tot but these days they fly completely under my radar. Unless, of course, there’s some manner of scandal. Well here we are with a kerfuffle surrounding Miss California (who just won the Miss USA title). She seems pretty flipping cool to me. She believes in evolution and medical marijuana and, best of all, she watches “Game of Thrones” and “Camelot.” Two shows (one excellent, one delightfully crappy) near and dear to my heart. This revelation is kicking up that whole Pandering Geek Girl hornet’s nest again. Can’t we all just be thankful that she’s not Carrie Prejean? (Nerdy Bird)
Speaking of controversial beauties, the lovely Miss Megan Fox has allegedly made an enemy of Steven Spielberg with an ill-timed Hitler comment. (As opposed to a well-timed Hitler comment, Joanna?) Whether this is about her level of disrespect or the director’s feeling about Holocaust humor, we can’t really say. This is all word of mouth (and from Michael Bay’s mouth, no less). What I will say is that if she’s p*ssed off Spielberg, Megan Fox is f*cked. (NYMag)
I wonder if these Japanese hotel-owners have p*ssed off Mr. Spielberg. Me? I’m delighted that a Jurassic Park-themed sex motel exists. Do you think they’ll let me fill a bathtub with green jello? (Geekologie)
I’m going to give Lucas the benefit of the doubt here and believe that he is subtly apologizing for the quality of the Star Wars prequels. I WANT TO BELIEVE IN THE MAN, DAMNIT. (Blastr)
Ah, a prequel I can get behind? Another X-Men installment. No no no, not because of Fassbender. I’m thinking we go even younger. Maybe animated. MUUUTAAANT BAAABIES. (The Curious Brain)
Is the “Muppet Babies” theme song stuck in your head now? You’re welcome. I’ve been hearing the haunting, trashy strains of the “True Blood” theme song in my head for a week now. The show starts up again Sunday and while I found last season’s use of the werewolf Alcide to be wholly unnecessary and rather dull, I was never to bored to watch his wash boards. Here they are being given the GQ treatment. (Celebitchy)
Here’s something I feel less creepy staring at: a series of magnificently understated film posters. It wasn’t hard to pick out my favorite. (Brick Hut)
You know, if I had my way, my walls would be plastered in clever posters and my bureaus would runneth over with geek T-Shirts. This Dr. Horrible shirt is the best I’ve seen in awhile. Sometimes shirts are just geeky, this shirt is both geeky and cute. (Qmx)
Speaking of gorgeous, the lovely (Not So) Blonde Savant sent me to this Etsy store. This stuff is beautiful and has everything a drunken godtoperson could desire. I want to take up smoking JUST so I can buy that cigarette case. (Etsy)
Just kidding about the smoking, folks. I never would. I know the risks, man. (DEAR GOD, THE RISKS.) Plus, you know, our health care system is completely f*cked. Take, for example, this story of a man who got himself arrested just so he could get medical attention in jail. That’s pretty f*cking dire, folks. (GOOD)
All you gents who care about health (or just want an excuse to skip shaving) must love Movemeber. Well, fear not ladies, there’s a sort of silly event for us as well. Oh yeah, Julyna. Get on board. (Health Zone)
Here is a list of five fake sounds designed to make humans more comfortable. You know, like when you’re enjoying your lady’s Julyna and she fak-JUST KIDDING. She doesn’t do that. Never! (Humans Invent)
Finally, my luscious lens flares, I buried this video in my column yesterday, but it’s so good it deserves it’s blindingly bright moment in the sun. JJ Abrams presents Lens Flare.
Joanna Robinson wants to assure you folks that your special f*cking lady friend loves ALL of your Julyna ministrations, both great and small. If you need to spice things up, however, why not take her to Hotel Jzauruss. Seriously, the name drips class.