Today's Pajiba Love Has Everything: Donald Trump, Russian Hookers, Michael Cohen, and Prison Rape
There’s a lot going on in the world of politics tonight, and Dustin will have a rundown of that in the morning. But, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that Rod Rosenstein buckled and handed the Comey memos over to Congressional Republicans and, within no time at all, they leaked to the Associated Press, where we learned that, in one of the memos, Trump told Comey that Putin told him, ‘We have some of the most beautiful hookers in the world.’ Apropos of what? That’s still unclear. The important thing, however, is that — so far — the GOP’s attempts to force Rosenstein to hand over the Comey memos as a pretext for firing him have backfired spectacularly, in that he called their bluff, the memos leaked, and now we know that Trump discussed hookers with Putin. Good job, GOP!
Somehow, that’s not the most bizarre thing to happen tonight. Here’s Trump’s personal divorce attorney, on CNN, saying — and I am sort-of-but-not-really paraphrasing here: Michael Cohen will flip on Trump because he doesn’t want to be a black man’s prison wife. Listen for yourself:
Former Trump lawyer and surrogate says Cohen will flip because prison has “racial overtones” and Cohen doesn’t want to be a mans wife. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ pic.twitter.com/MywFNwCkXV— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 20, 2018
Meanwhile, back to the Comey memos: Trump told Comey that if he imprisoned a few reporters that prison rape might help to silence them. WE ARE NOT MAKING THIS UP, FOLKS.
President makes a prison rape joke to express how incarcerating reporters would be effective. Director of the FBI, by his own account, laughs. pic.twitter.com/k1AFxURohk— T'Challah 🍝 (@AdamSerwer) April 20, 2018
Y’all. Y’ALL. Does Brad Pitt’s new girlfriend look like Angelina Jolie to you? Because for me, that’s an emphatic yes. (Lainey Gossip)
You know, after Robin Thicke released “Blurred Lines” I thought he was a sleaze. So when he and Paula Patton broke up and divorced, I immediately identified as Team Patton without thinking twice about it. But now she’s dating someone who is married (or separated?) and I just want good things for her, so color me concerned. But most concerning is what’s going on with her head. Girl, that is not your hair color. (Celebitchy)
TayTay continues to be extra by asking the plaintiffs who lost their case against her to pay her legal fees. The judge wasn’t having it. (Dlisted)
Longtime Pajiban Kolby and I were discussing Meghan Markle’s outfit today. I love it without reservation; Kolby wants to see it in a color. What say you? (GFY)
Vivian was kind enough to write about what’s going on with Missouri’s Governor Eric Greitens. He truly is an awful person. (The Mary Sue)
Season 11 of Parts Unknown is soon approaching, and Bourdain is as busy as ever. In his latest interview, he talked about shooting an episode in West Virginia, #MeToo, and the surprise he experienced whilst in the heart of “Trump, God, and guns” country. (Eater)
Terry Crews spoke at the Women of the World Summit. You’ll want to read his comments because they’re informative, if sad and scary. (The Cut)
Joanna has the details about all the new faces joining season 2 of Westworld. (Vanity Fair)
You’ll want to read this article about the badass female pilots of World War II. (Mental Floss)
I know it’s too early, but I want to turn your attention to Andrew Yang who is running for President in 2020. His platform is to provide all Americans with a living wage. He’s also got some ideas about the robot apocalypse, which he might not want to focus on too much. (Motherboard)
I take a hardline #TeamCake stance, but this peanut pie? It’s softening that position. Especially if said pie includes cayenne pepper and dark chocolate, because there is nothing better than the combo of sweet + salty + heat. (Atlas Obscura)
The headline “Wealthy Americans know less than they think they do about food and nutrition” surprises me not at all. I mean, who else has the money to participate in such nonsense as the raw water diet, Goop’s detox plans, or anything preached by the Food Babe? (The Conversation)
The Obamas are building a pool in their D.C. home. And yes, I am 100% here for shirtless Obama pool pictures. No shame. The man is foine. (T&C)
In the best Oopsie News ever, scientists have accidentally discovered a bacteria that eats plastic. (IFLScience)
I am constantly looking for lists of books I need to read, which I should stop doing because it just gives me anxiety over how many books I still haven’t read. So I really appreciate this list of overrated books I can skip, even though I don’t agree with a couple of the books listed. (GQ)
Lisa Bee read Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s V for Vendetta a long time ago, but she didn’t remember much about it. This year it seemed like a necessary re-read. "I think about our history and our world today and I know exactly how we got where we are, and I see resistance happening and just hope that it doesn’t let up, because as soon as we become complacent or turn our backs to what is happening, it can all slip away so fast." What books have you felt compelled to re-read? (Cannonball Read 10)
Ursula lives in Chicago and likes potatoes very much. You can follow her here.