My gifted gourmands, I’m sure by now you “Parks and Recreation” fans have had a chance to play on Tom Haverfoods, but you might maybe not have seen Ben & Jerry’s Ron Swanson ice cream. (Pleated Jeans)
Delightful. I’m guessing, however, that the participants in Naked Bike Ride Day have been laying off the B&J. There is only a thin layer of body paint keeping these photos SFW, so click with caution. Also, NAKED BIKING? Ouch. (Boing Boing)
Speaking of things I wouldn’t want to do naked (or clothed for that matter), this Russian diver helps cajole a Beluga whale…only she has to do it naked…because of science or something. These photos are stunning but now I have Raffi stuck in my head. EARWHALE’D. (Daily Mail)
Ahhh, sweet release, this new Britney Spears video drove the Raffi right outta my brain. Listen, she’s autotuned to hell (like Cher in “Do You Beli-e-eve In Life After Love” mated with Daft Punk. See? Hell), but she’s looking pretty cute and sort of sane and there’s a stellar Half Baked reference. So, yeah, I watched the whole thing. Sue me. (Evil Beet)
Don’t sue Tracy Morgan, though. He’s trying really hard to make amends. Whether his participation in this GLAAD event is heartfelt or orchestrated to keep his job, it is nice that Morgan’s making an effort. However, I’m not quite mollified. I’m not saying we should flog him in the marketplace or anything, but there was a LOT of violence in Morgan’s “comedy,” it wasn’t just an “awkward” joke. (Celebitchy)
Awkward Joke Walking, Ms. Sarah Palin, has called it quits on her National Tour of Inventive Historical Retellings. Oh, lady, why do you make it so easy? (Vanity Fair)
Speaking of inventive retellings, there has been a lot of grumblings about Tarsem Singh’s latest project Immortals. Folks are concerned that The Cell director is messing with the mythology. I, for one, am still super excited for the flick (love The Fall) but am a little worried about the Vagina Dentata helm Mickey Rourke appears to be wearing. (Cinemablend)
Speaking of disaster(ous) films, Bob Hoskins claims his biggest regret is the Mario Bros movie. I dunno, Bob, you and Lequizamo are kind of cute in that movie. May I nominate Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties? (Kotaku)
I was just scrolling through Hamm’s IMDB to see if there was anything I could shame him with. Barring some trashy TV (oh, “Charmed,” why have I seen so many episodes of you?), the man is pretty clean. Three more years of “Man Men” means he’ll be able to keep outta trouble a bit longer. Though, 1973 Draper? Is that Mr. Brady perm and gold medallion Draper? Oh I hope so. (Warming Glow)
Okay, we all know Pandas are jerks, right? But can we talk about birds for a moment? There’s a meme going around, birds with arms, that is supposed to make birds look creepy. Well, as this flickr stream proves, you don’t need no photoshop, birds are just inherently creep. Not convinced? Take a gander at this article. Polly doesn’t want a cracker, she wants your complete and utter submission. (Gawker)
I find this photo of the Osbournes, Sharon and Ozzy, to be truly mind-blowing. It’s from the late 80’s and it’s not Sharon’s weight that’s shocking (we knew about this), it’s how YUPPIE Ozzy looks. When did he go back to the guyliner? Did MTV make him wear guyliner for his show. WAS THE SHOW A LIE?! IS THERE NO SPOON? (Blame It On The Voices)
Speaking of Le Matrix, Optimus Rhyme sent me this completely useless but totally entertaining site that allows you to type like a hacker. I put on my Sneakers soundtrack (YES I OWN IT) and whispered “too many secrets” while I banged on my keyboard. Immensely satisfying. (Hacker Typer)
Here we have Mr. Tom Hanks on Univision (which is like, muy muy popular, folks). The fact that the adorable Hanks only speaks a leeeetle Spanish and is struggling to keep up with the translator in his ear makes this whole video very awkward. But, because it’s Hanks, it’s charmingly awkward. Also? Man can dance.
Finally, we have one of those typical Joanna videos which might cause you to question my sobriety. I’m SOBER (so far). This video about vibrations is super cool and I hope you stay to the end for the bit with the cymbal. It’ll blow your hi-hat right off.