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This Insanely Fit Mother of Three Wants to Know What Your Excuse Is For Being a Slovenly, Obese Couch Blob

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | October 17, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | October 17, 2013 |

This, um, “dress” that Olivia Munn is wearing “feels like something a Real Housewife would wear to the Grammys, along with about two kegs’ worth of bronzer and nine pounds of hair.” That sums it up nicely. Yeesh. (GFY)

Here are six reasons you should rewatch Robocop tonight, and I’ll give you a seventh: Because it’s not like there anything on NBC to watch anymore. (Underscoopfire)

Speaking of Thursday nights, with all the dopplegangers on NBC’s one remaining great sitcom, Parks and Recreation, I take a look at what the cast could’ve been like if Mike Schur and Greg Daniels had chosen the other people who’d auditioned for the P&R roles. (WG)

Idris Elba — who played a drug dealer on The Wire — has tried ALL the drugs, but it was totally for research, y’all. And a heightened sense of awareness. And partying. And BECAUSE OF REASONS, OK? (Dlisted)

Who is the best at recreating the fear we felt as children? Besides Ronald McDonald, who lured us into obesity with his giant rape van full of delicious french fries? (Unreality)

Fellas, if you really love your lady, buy her this bedazzled NFL High-Heeled Shoe Wine Rack, because nothing says classy like pulling a bottle of wine out of a heel. Unfortunately, there are no heels to accommodate boxed wine, the official spirit of the NFL. (HappyNiceTimePeople)

Zack Snyder has not yet asked Hans Zimmer to score the Batman vs. Superman movie, which is A-OK with Hans Zimmer because he’s not so sure that Batman vs. Superman is a movie that should even be made. (Slashfilm)

A Bangladeshi reporter with absolutely no boundaries awkwardly asks Michael C. Hall about his divorce from Jennifer Carpenter, and the result is … squirmworthy. (Uproxx)

Remember how George W. Bush made George H.W. Bush seem like a very reasonable President by comparison, and then how the Tea Party made George W. Bush seem reasonable by comparison? Miley Cyrus sometimes makes me miss Paris Hilton for the same reasons. Here’s Hilton, who is trying to grab a slice of relevancy by posing for Terry Richardson. (Celebitchy)

Anne T Donahue, one of our most favorite online writers, has written about how Homeland is stereotyping mental disorders. (Guardian)

For all that Sleepy Hollow gets right so far, it still has a serious Big Bad problem, which is strange for a show that features a headless man on a horse. (Previously TV)

Earlier this morning, we brought you news of the raving stenographer who railed against the Freemasons in the House of Representatives after the government re-opened. Fox news thinks she’s being religiously persecuted. OF COURSE YOU DO. *head pat* (Gawker)

Speaking of, the government shutdown was in financed by gay money. What does that mean? That it was funded entirely by three-dollar bills? (Hey-O!) Queerty)

Best book title ever. (Curious Brain)

32-year-old mother of three, Maria Kang, has attracted considerable controversy recently for a photo she posted on Facebook over a year ago, which many are suggesting is judgmental and fat shaming. I just want to know what Kang’s excuse is for not being completely up to speed on the entire fall TV schedule? Huh? How many episodes of Trophy Wife are stacked up on your DVR, lady? Because I keep my DVR trim. (NYDailyNews)


Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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