You know those times in your life when you’re just angry? Not mad, not fired up, but unadulterated, red-blooded anger. TK on his worst day times a kick in the groin. That kinda anger. You know that? Well yeah, that’s me right now. The real-world job is beating my ass down and I’m taking it out on you. Jennifer Lawrence approves. So shut the f*ck up and sit the f*ck down, it’s Pajiba
Love Anger, you ass rats!
You know who’s an assh*hole? No, not Seth MacFarlane (well him too — we’ll get to that). The Jamaican beef patty eating Florida bus driver. (Sun Sentinel)
Referring to the driver that way reminds me of “The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon”. Tony Danza as a Philadelphia Eagle, y’all. It’s f*ing stupid. The Eagles, meanwhile, are owned by Jeff Lurie, a producer who won his second Oscar last night with the documentary short Inocente.
…I have no link for that, just wanted to share a text I got last night: “Jeff Lurie has now won two Oscars and zero Super Bowls.” Mother f*ck!
You know who else has got some anger issues? The guy over at Unreality. I don’t agree with most of the entrants on this list of TV characters he wants to kill off, but I like where his head’s at. (Unreality)
So, the Oscars. I’m not angry that Anne Hathaway won. Desperate begging for an award aside, and despite the most rehearsed speech in a long time, girl killed it in Les Mis and deserves her statue. I’m god d*mned f*ucking outraged however that, as of the time of this writing, Twitter has suspended the account for @HathawayNipples. It’s bull sh*t, yo! (Celebitchy)
Angry as I am right now, it seems like the whole south east is a sh*t-ton angrier, least according to this map of nationwide wrath:
Check out more “maps you never knew you needed.” They’re rad. (BuzzFeed).
Maps are cool and all, but I want an angry t-shirt! Something to provide a hipstery, visual representation of my anger. But my go-to place for t-shirts doesn’t have anger going on right now. Because this Cat-At shirt, man … it’s adorkable. (Qwertee)
“Archer.” It’s the funniest show on TV. Are you watching it? If you answered no, just go kill yourself. Alligator hallucinations, people! (Uproxx)
You know who else should kill himself? Seth MacFarlane, for absolutely ruining our shared first name. Despite my hatred of most of his shows, I actually like and the guy and have defended him in the past. But last night, his schtick wasn’t just terrible, but it was homophobic and misogynistic and also terrible. Makes me want to drown my sorrows in a keg. Which means I need to buy this beer barrel bed. (This Is Why I’m Broke)
On the way to my bedroom, wherein I see a normal bed that’s not a beer barrel bed (damn it!), I see my messy towels. Try though I may to stack ‘em like Bed, Bath and Beyond, I can never get ‘em right. Turns out it’s because BB&B f*cking lies! (Neatorama)
Clearly, my life is a waste:
(Source: The Curious Brain)
…Let’s turn this thing around and try to go out on a positive note, make something of this day, yeah? How about a nerdy physicist proposal? (io9)
Speaking of love, I love my Onkyo receiver. Lets me hear Seth MacFarlane’s sh*tty jokes in high fidelity. If you’re looking for a quality receiver, check this list out. (Lifehacker)
Also speaking of love, last year there was a little web series on Yahoo called “Burning Love.” It was a take on your dating reality shows starring Ken Marino and it was flipping hilarious. The second one is airing on Yahoo now (Yahoo!), and the third series is already in the can too. But if you’re not hip to the modern internet viewing, E! begins airing the original tonight. Come for the Jennifer Aniston and Kristen Bell, stay for the Malin Ackerman and Natasha Leggero. (e!)
Yeah, suddenly I’m feeling a lot less killy. Let’s do the video thing and call it a day. With Oscars on the brain, here’s Trey and Matt talking about their trip to the Oscars:
And we’ll end as we started, with Jennifer Lawrence. I need to make her mine: