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The Roy Moore Defenses Have Emerged, And Holy Sh*t

By Ursula Scully | Pajiba Love | November 9, 2017 |

By Ursula Scully | Pajiba Love | November 9, 2017 |

So Mitch McConnell, Ben Sasse, Jeff Flake, and other more moderate Republicans are saying that Roy Moore should withdraw his name from the Alabama special election due to allegations of sexual misconduct. HEY YOU FUCKING FUCKS, WHY DIDN’T YOU FUCKING DO THE SAME GODDAMN THING FOR TRUMP?! DID YOU JUST NOW GROW A FUCKING SPINE OR ARE YOUR ASSES STILL STINGING FROM TUESDAY’S WHOOPIN’?! GODDAMN SCUM, ALL OF YOU. Ahem. (WaPo)

On the other hand, there’s this:

And this:

And then there’s Sean Hannity, who is arguing that it’s OK because it was consensual. SHE WAS 14.

And then there is this, and unless you want your forehead veins to explode, you probably shouldn’t watch:

That Roy Moore raised a hell of a kid, though.

It is worth noting briefly that when a Hollywood liberal is accused of these things? We toss them into the trashbin. When it’s a conservative? They get to be the President or (probably) a Senator.

I know we’re currently dealing with a tsunami of sexual harassment allegations in Hollywood (Jesus Christ, you guys. Seriously, what the hell?!), but let’s also go after the filth in Washington DC, ok? OK. (The Cut)

“Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?” Why, indeed? (Harvard Business Review)

I love my holiday cookie exchange group, but I think I’d love a book exchange group even more. Who wants in? (Book Riot)

Any bourbon drinkers in the audience? Snowflakes are boycotting Jim Beam because Mila Kunis donates to Planned Parenthood, so I need some of you to pick up the slack. (Esquire)

Lainey is off on Thursdays, but I know she’d want to share this giant wolf-sized otters story with you. (IFLScience)

I have an idea. How about we strip the word “news” from Fox News? Like, legally. They shouldn’t be allowed to use it. We do limit some First Amendment rights when it comes to safety. There’s a very strong case to be made that Fox endangers our society. (GQ)

Another day, another World Cup fraud allegation. (The Intercept)

This David v. Goliath, I mean, Blogger v. Swifty case keeps on getting better and better. (Celebitchy)

The other day we had a, ahem, slight disagreement about sandwiches in the Overlord Slack group. We should have read these sandwich-making steps first. (McSweeney’s)

An advent calendar without chocolate? BLASPHEMY! Wait, this one has tea? Go on. (T&C)

For all my Leftists out there, here is a story about a hacker fighting fascists. (Narratively)

Want to see a hedgehog on a camping trip? Sure you do! (5Things)

The 2017 Comedy Wildlife Photography finalists are everything. (The Comedy Wildlife)

I recently watched Miss Sloan (which I loved) and thought Jessica Chastain did a great job, but you guys, I think she’s a genuine badass IRL. (Lainey Gossip)

Panera Bread purchased Au Bon Pain so please excuse me while I go stuff my face before their menu is “revamped” aka ruined. (Eater)

Catherine Zeta-Jones strolling through the airport manages to look like a fierce lady Zorro, and hey Hollywood, why don’t ya get on that? (Dlisted)

Big Little Lies season 2 will start production as soon as Spring 2018. Between this and Jessica Jones, I think the world is ready for the Women Getting Revenge On Their Abusers genre. (TV Line)

Did you know that Krysten Ritter wrote a book? Yes! That Krysten Ritter! The Fug Ladies are doing a giveaway. (GFY)

The final book club selection of the year for Cannonball Read has been announced: Tom Stoppard’s absurdist comedy, The Real Inspector Hound. Two theater critics are watching a closed room murder mystery, a la Agatha Christie, when the critics inadvertently become part of the action. The #CannonBookClub discussion is on Dec. 13, so you have plenty of time to read this one-act play and join in the cancer fundraiser. Have you read any Stoppard? (Cannonball Read 9)

Ursula lives in Chicago and likes potatoes very much. You can follow her here.

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Ursula is a Staff Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.