The Return Of Jack Bauer, Plus 1 World Trade Center Finally Rises From The Ashes
It’s official — the most inappropriate question in social contexts is no longer to ask a pregnant-looking woman, “When are you due?” Instead, one should make sure to never ask a young couple, “So how did you two meet?” Incidentally, if you are the member of such a couple who feels that no one would ever understand how you met online, I’d advocate jointly making shit up. (Grantland)
Pierce Brosnan has signed onto what he calls a “passion project” that involves him impregnating a very young lady played by Jessica Alba. What was it that we were saying a few weeks ago about how leading men age but their ladies stay the same? Yeah, that. (Film School Rejects)
If you’re already feeling a little bit stabby today, I’d recommend not checking out this chart of each state’s highest paid employee. In retrospect, this is highly predictable, and I’m not sure why anyone is surprised at all. (Deadspin)
Kiefer Sutherland is said to be in very serious talks to return to television in a new incarnation of “24” (as either a regular or mini-series) because his current series got cancelled after two seasons. Is this exciting? It’s hard to hate on Jack Bauer. (Slashfilm)
GPS is the devil, y’all. From drivers who have driven into lakes, houses, and sand pits as well as those who have landed in (wtf?) cherry trees, I think we all need to think several times before placing blind faith into these damn machines. Recalculating. (Mental Floss)
Isabella Rosellini is so damn kooky. She’s already dressed up like a bee to illustrate, well, the birds and the bees. Now she’s moved on to demonstrate … toad sex. (Vulture)
Ryan Gosling refuses to eat cereal, and Ryan McHenry has created a series of videos that feature Gosling doing just that. Some people really do have too much time on their hands. (DListed)
A Japanese man has created some mind-blowing art by using not oil or pastels or watercolors but Excel spreadsheets. My late Japanese grandmother would have declared that this is not “bunch of junk.” (Kotaku)
One would think that an interview with Uwe Boll would reveal him to be a very egotistical and deluded dickbag, right? Not a thoughtful, amusing, and mildly well-spoken guy. Darn. (Film Drunk)
Kellan Lutz (a.k.a., Emmett from The Twilight Saga) has broken up with his girlfriend of over a year, Sharni Vinson. I once showed photos of these two to my gay boyfriend, and he snapped his fingers (for effect) and said, “You know, there IS such a thing as trying too hard.” (Celebitchy)
This photo of James McAvoy in X-Men: Days of Future Past is really swinging and kinky looking in a scary, creepy, serial-killer-on-the-subway sort of way. (The Mary Sue)
Naturally, the media is still digging into Charles Ramsay’s past. Can’t we just accept that the guy did some bad things a decade ago, but he did his time and clearly made amends? Nothing negates the very good thing that he did in helping to free Amanda Berry and friends. (Warming Glow)
Lion Dogg has finally opened up and admitted all of that “pimp” talk was for real, and he really did drive around a van full of chicks who turned tricks for him in exchange for money. Will this admission finally crush the soft spot that so many people hold dear for D-O-Double-G? (Rolling Stone)
This morning, 1 World Trade Center received its longer-than-a-football-field-sized spire and now stands 1,776 feet tall, which makes it the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. Technically. Maybe. The debate continues. (Buzzfeed)
Star Wars is indeed a neverending nightmare. I’ll never forget the time that I thought a cardboard cutout of Jar Jar Binks was an intruder in the children’s section of my old bookstore. Here’s an “adorable” drawing that shows Princess Leia strangling Jabba the Hutt. (Unreality Mag)
Are we still filtering through the remains of Monday evening’s Met Gala? Yes, we are. Nice side boob, Kirsten Dunst. (Go Fug Yourself)
Finally, here’s some glorious masturbation material (for the grammar nazis out there in the audience) in the form of a video that details 38 common grammar or spelling errors. I’m sure that this column contains at least one of them. Happy hunting.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.
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