Introducing your new Woody Allen, folks: 57-year-old Steven Bauer debuted his new 18-year-old, Tea Party activist girlfriend this weekend. The big reveal did happen at the premiere of Woody’s Magic in the Moonlight. Nice touch. (DListed)
Why hasn’t Wes Bentley been floated as a possibility for Dr. Strange? He’d be an excellent pick. (Lainey)
Dan Harmon identifies his first priority in the next season of Community (Uproxx)
Zoe Saldana whipped out her bitch to tell off the media for invading her privacy. She could have done so a bit more eloquently, but the point still stands. (CB)
Dulcolax, which has helped millions of people poop through the magic powers of laxatives, has released a new ad filled with anthropomorphized poops trapped in a butt prison. It’s disgusting, but the visual design of these poop prisoners is actually … stunning. (TMS)
Sandra Bullock celebrated her 50th birthday in Wyoming over the weekend. She’s still amazingly hot as these photos prove. (People) And this may or may not be a photo of Sandy’s ass during the festivities. It totally isn’t. (Instagram).
Hot Wheels built a real-life version of their Darth Car, which is just as completely ridiculous looking as you’d expect. (Unreality)
The media has decided that Beyonce and Jay-Z are dunzo after their On the Run tour concludes. The elevator scandal was a major tipping point that managed to poke holes in a teflon empire. Oh, and he might be “screwing” Rihanna. (Uproxx)
Chris Hemsworth’s butt looked really good in a pair of pants. (GFY)
A stay-at-home mother of two learned an important lesson in perspective after one of her kiddos snapped her picture at Lake Tahoe. (HuffPo)
Cosmo has broken the mold by offering their pointless sex tips up to lesbians seeking to move past “the classic scissor” position. (Jezebel)
Bonnie’s having some terrible luck with books lately. Not only was she recently scarred by Of Mice and Men, but for her 52nd book of the year - the completion of her full Cannonball - she got bitten by Jack London’s White Fang. See what made her title her review “Jack London, you are one screwed up SOB.” (Cannonball Read 6)
Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She can be found at Celebitchy.com.