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Ted Cruz, Cyborg Senator, Tries for Sympathy Lands on Idiocy

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | February 8, 2017 |

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | February 8, 2017 |

Dammit, love! I wanted this couple to work, but ALLEGEDLY, they’ve split. Jenny Slate and Chris Evans, I have enjoyed every moment of your adorable relationship. THANK YOU for sharing your realness with us {side-eyeing you, Gwen and Blake} - (US)

Dustin gave you a whole slew of Netflix programming announcements earlier today and then, like, 5 minutes later, Netflix released the trailer and season premiere date for Orange is the New Black - (YouTube)

Oh no. What shitty remake will we not go see now? - (dlisted)

Ava Phillippe manages to look JUST like her mother and also JUST like her father. I don’t get it. It’s that damn blue/black or white/gold dress all over again. Sort of. - (GFY)

Two players from the New England Patriots, who won the Super Bowl (just, you know, in case you were busy on Sunday and didn’t hear the news), will not be visiting the White House when the team goes. Good for them! I really hope some of their teammates will join them in sitting this visit out. (Uh, make that three players)- (Celebitchy)

There’s one thing that might just return the world to normal, for a few hours at least. (Uproxx)

A Golden Girls-themed cafe is opening in Washington Heights and I’m surprised it hasn’t already been done. I mean, it just *goes* together like, well, like Golden Girls and cheesecake! - (Gothamist)

Here’s a story of George Lopez being racist AND being a dick, so, yeah, that’s fun… (Lainey)

Oh, and here’s The Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz telling a woman congratulations on her MS, so, yeah, that’s… well, that’s typical of that model of cyborg is what that is. His model hasn’t received the empathy upgrade. - (Twitter)

It could have been "a couple hundred pages of back and forth between two people saying ‘But I WANT to,’ and ‘But we CAN’T,’ however Wharton is a master of unrequited desire." Bea Pants enjoyed The Age of Innocence with all its restrained politeness and simmering repressed emotions. Have you read this slice of 1870’s New York Society? (Cannonball Read 9)

Not a loose seal or a Lucille, but an otter with an Arrested Development quote. Lucille Gene Parmesan.gif (The Daily Otter)

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Lainey is the copy editor & linkmaster. You can Tweet at her on Twitter.