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Stop. . .Talking. Al Bundy And Rob Lowe Prove They Should Never Go Off Book

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | June 14, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | June 14, 2011 |

My darling ****s**s and *****h***t***s. I am enjoying the **** out of the Tarantino movies now available on Netflix Instant (but, whither thou, Four Rooms?). Did you know that there are 429 swear words in Pulp Fiction? If you click the following link, you’ll hear all of them, minus everything else in the movie. Just the swearing. I hid this behind a link because it’s the most incredibly NSFW video I’ve ever posted, and I don’t want you, my beloved *****g**s to get fired. (The Curious Brain)

But, then again, if this enterprising young man can keep his job after strolling into work wearing his ridiculously ******s replica Iron Man armor, there’s hope for you my ***a** *****s. (The Chive)

Is RDJ your favorite actor to play an Avenger? You might change your mind after reading this interview with Chris Evans. His interviewer was a cute young lady and he got her ******g drunk and, essentially, dated her for a couple days. Essentially. It sounds like kind of a **** move, but it’s actually hilarious. Oh, and p.s., he said Scott Pilgrim was his favorite film to date. He’s a big fan. Oh, Chris, why wouldn’t you be? (GQ)

Me? I’m a big fan of Willow, mostly because I like calling people p*ck. P*ck p*ck p*ck p*ck p*ck p*ck p*ck p*ck p*ck. Ron Howard gives a great interview about Willow and how it was the most challenging film of his career. (The Hero Complex)

Speaking of classic 80’s films, Ferris Bueller just celebrated its 25th birthday. I thought this film was universally beloved. A writer for moviefone even talks about how it saved him from depression. Alan Seigel over at The Atlantic, however, claims we should get over it. I say you can d**ke my sch**n, Mr. Seigel. (Atlantic)

In Things I Never Dreamed Would Be Real News, someone has built a house made (almost) entirely out of bookcases. Can we go live there, Pajiba nation? No dilly dallying and reading in the bathroom, you ******h***ds, we’ve all gotta share. (Core 77)

Also? Someone is working on a hover bike. As in, THIS GENT HAS ALMOST BUILT HIMSELF A HOVER BIKE. About **** time, Zemekis promised me a hover board decades ago. (Jalopnik)

I know I’m supposed to be excited for Green Lantern, but I’m really not. Is there something ******* wrong with me? I am, however, excited by this Green Lantern cosplay. I love you, geek girls!! Maybe Green Lantern should have been played by a lady? (Comics Alliance)

Speaking of bending the old gender, two prominent lesbian bloggers have been exposed. Guess what? Dudes type like a lady. That’s right, two dudes have been posing as lesbians NOT to titillate or earn money, but to shine a light on LGBT and other political issues. I’m not entirely certain how I feel about this. I admire their good intentions, but the internet is such a ******d up and deceitful place sometimes. Cripes. (Jezebel)

Ah, but here come the elegant ladies of the English upper crust, being completely honest in their total batshittery. It’s Ascot Races time and, if you didn’t know, this is where all the crazy hats that weren’t worn to a Royal Wedding come out to play. (COME ON, DOVER, MOVE YOUR *****ING ***!) Royal Wedding wack-a-doodles Beatrice and Eugenie are remarkably restrained, but some elderly lady is wearing a shrubbery on her head. Well, I spose it’s more of a winner’s wreath. Well, just see for yourself. (The Mirror)

I’d like to throw wreaths at all the people nominated for Television Critic’s Awards. Seriously, it’s ALL your favorite people and none of that Emmy ***l***t. The only thing missing, in my opinion, is more “Friday Night Lights” love. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton deserve all the ******* wreaths. (Warming Glow)

Speaking of television actors, some thespian friends of mine brought the following video to my attention. In it, Ed O’Neill and Rob Lowe complain about not being paid what they’re worth. (According to Ed O’Neill, that’s WAY about $40,000 for six weeks of work.) Listen, I understand that actors should and must demand to be paid commensurate to their work and experience, but when you are making more in six weeks than many folks make in a year, I think it is in ******* poor taste to b*** about it in a public forum. After the whole Tracy Morgan debacle, I’m beginning to wish some of my favorite comedic actors would just stop talking for themselves. Come for the ***hattery, stay for the looks on Joel McHale and Chris Colfer’s faces.

This last ****** video, my ****s, is also not SFW. In it, David Wain and Joe LoTruglio give a dramatic reading of a 1999 brainstorm session of possible titles for Wet Hot American Summer. My personal favorite was ****s and *****s.

Joanna Robinson swears on everything that is holy (dinosaurs, word clouds, Christina Hendrick’s rack and Michael FASSBENDER) that she is, in fact, a lady. She’s been one her whole life.

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