How would you react to seeing your own face reflected within The Grand Budapest Hotel? This is a marvelous essay, and you should all read it. (FSR)
The most recent episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee features Sarah Jessica Parker in a rare revealing capacity. She will charm you with her wit and lucidity. And yes, celebrities should tip more if they don’t want someone to call them an a-hole on Reddit. (Warming Glow)
Matthew McConaughey’s co-stars are grumbling because he may not return to the Magic Mike franchise. Because of that pesky Oscar win. Can we really blame Matty if he has better things to do now? (Uproxx)
Should Hollywood destroy the Epic of Gilgamesh as its next blockbuster? Be careful what you “wish” for. (Unreality)
Dr. Oz has been “scolded” by the Senate for his role in enthusiastically promoting falsely advertised weight-loss supplements. Part of me thinks that anyone who believes raspberry ketones are “the number one miracle in a bottle to burn fat” is just asking to be scammed. But Oz’s legion of fans will buy anything that he shills, and he needs a new shtick. (Celebitchy)
The Sinister writers are now writing a new Outer Limits movie based upon Harlan Ellison’s Devil with a Glass Hand. Yes, that IS pee running down my leg. (SF)
Spain has crowned a new King. He is very handsome. (GFY)
I know everyone here hates Buzzfeed, but this is an important story. Alan Cumming disappointed many of his fans yesterday by tweeting a photo of himself and creeper Terry Richardson at a Harper’s Bazaar shoot. Alan felt the outrage and quickly apologized. Then he deleted the apology. Not cool. (BF)
Musical artists think they’re so clever with their twisted, lyrical meanings. I’m being sarcastic. There are so many commonly misunderstood songs out there. Here are 15 of them. (MF)
Let’s read between the lines for the hidden meaning of the name Taylor Swift gave to her new kitty cat. Michael K. nails it again. (DListed)
The idea of a fish-eating spider is an unwelcome one. They do exist, and there are pictures. Enjoy those nightmares. (TMS)
Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” with Chris Martin might be cancelled? Hey, Chris Martin is promoting a new Coldplay album right now. Help “keep the flame alive” for the Goop-Coldplay union and go buy that Coldplay album on presale, yo. (Lainey)
Chez Pazienza asks the question that many of us have been wondering for quite awhile: Does Jimmy Fallon kind of suck now? Seriously, enough with the “dance offs” and “rap battles.” (DB)
Rumer Willis has three boobs now. Sort of. (Us)
This is the perfect immature video for a Friday afternoon. Introducing “Fartzenegger,” which is exactly what you’d expect from the title.
Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She can be found at Celebitchy.com.