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Short, Pale Brunettes Despair, Leonardo DiCaprio Cements His "Type" With New Blonde Amazon

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | May 18, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | May 18, 2011 |

Morning my sparkling diamonds. We start today’s Love with this clip of Robert Pattinson strumming and crooning out a sort of coffee-house/Shawn Mullinsy tune. I’m not certain of the source of this song, but I presume it’s part of Pattinson’s campaign: Jeff Buckley Or Bust. I’m no fan of Robert Pattinson (intriguing hair, terrible actor), but even I have to admit he doesn’t sound terrible. I can’t imagine how acutely agitated his die-hard fans must be, you know, in their trouser region. (Evil Beet)

Leonardo DiCaprio has been acutely agitating trouser regions for over a decade now. His latest in a long string-bikini line of ladyfriends is “Gossip Girl” actress Blake Lively. (Celebitchy)

This is what I like about these these tan, blonde Stepford clones of Leo’s, he gets older, they stay the same age. [Gisele (28) Bar (25) Blake (23)] Who do we think will be next year’s model? Fret not, Taylor Swift (21) has two out of three of the requirements nailed down. Here she is praying to the sun gods to help her fulfill the third Melanomponent.

Listen, we all have our own ways of worshiping. Some of them are just a bit more Freudian. H/T to Lindsay for these Unintentionally Sexual Church Signs. (Some E-Cards)

Speaking of mixing business with pleasure, this canny Brazilian lady has won a court case and is now legally allowed to masturbate at work. Well done, canny Brazilian lady. (AOL Weird News)

I mean, honestly, if cracking one off (is that a thing? it sounds like it should be a thing) truly makes someone a better employee, I’m all for it. If, um, “steaming his latte” at work would help my barista make some of these badass foam creations, who am I to say nay? This is where I DON’T make a fappuccino joke. Because I’m classy. (Illuminations and Other Stuff)

Something tells me Satoshi Kanazawa could “massage the data” all day long and still be terrible at his job. Read his disgustingly racist “study” for Psychology Today which concludes that black women are less physically attractive than other women. Then enjoy this post which tears him and his “science” a new one. (Persephone Magazine)

Yes, sure, black people are empirically less attractive. It’s not like our current Commander in Chief is the only POTUSILF or anything. (HE TOTALLY IS. SUCK IT, JFK.) Don’t believe me? Check out Rambama. (Herobuilders)

Once you get over the preposterousness of Rambama, take a gander at this series of Army Men called “Casualties of War.” (Who Killed Bambi)

I know, I know, those were a downer. Let’s lift our spirits, my tender readers, with this “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Photoshop” photo from National Geographic: “Tinted orange by the morning sun, a soaring dune is the backdrop for the hulks of camel thorn trees in Namib-Naukluft Park.” Astonishing.

Also astonishing are these non-CGI’d transformations of attractive stars into famous movie monsters. It’s a really neat tribute to the art of cinematic makeup, but I call foul on the inclusions of Willem Dafoe. He was born that way. (Unreality)

Speaking of attractive stars, the prettiest legs (with apologies to Robert Sean Leonard) on the set of “House” are walking out the door. Lisa Edelstein (Dr. Cuddy) will not return next season. Looks like it was all about the benjamins. (Warming Glow)

And speaking of TV’s strong-willed females, idiosynchronic sent in this fantastic article by Roseanne Barr on Charlie Sheen, sexism and television. It’s a must-read, I promise you. As idiosynchronic put it, you’ll admire the ovaries on this woman (NY Mag)

Take a listen to this amazing piece of music created by only one piano, one cello and some ambient noises. I really dig on a beat created by the sound of a piano lid banging open.

Finally, in honor of this Saturday, which some are calling “the Rapture” and I’m calling “International Hug An Annoyingly Smug Devout Person Day,” here’s a megamix of cinematic End Of Days.

Eclectic Method - The Apocamix from Eclectic Method on Vimeo.

Joanna Robinson will find the holiest person she knows this Saturday and will hold him/her tight. Either she’s getting raptured with them like a Divine Backpack, or the weight of her sins will hold them down. Either way she considers it a win-win. Email! Twitter!

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