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Shia LaBeouf's Gross Rattail Says Celebrities are 'Enslaved Flesh'

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | April 17, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | April 17, 2015 |

Horatio Sanz told the story of the time Tracy Morgan was allowed to throw the SNL after-after party. It’s exactly what you’d expect. Exactly. (Uproxx)

Here is, without an ounce of hyperbole, the absolute craziest moment in the history of Maury Povich’s show. (Dlisted)

Just a friendly reminder that 15-year-old Kiernan Shipka is 100x cooler and more elegant than all of us put together. (GoFugYourself)

Josh Hartnett traces everything that has gone wrong in his career back to Christopher Nolan. Apparently we’re all living in Josh Hartnett’s personal darkest timeline. (Lainey)

The anti-harassment signage at Star Wars Celebration is a BEAUTIFUL thing. (Mary Sue)

The face attached to Shia LaBeouf’s weird fake gross rattail expounded on the trappings of the modern celebrity/humanity/individual/other masturbatory wordspace usages. Some takeaways: Shia is “a spectacular representation of a living human being, the opposite of an individual.” A celebrity is an “enslaved body. Just flesh — a commodity, and renounce all autonomous qualities in order to identify with the general law of obedience to the course of things.” Also, he’s not an actor, he doesn’t want to direct— he’s a “performer.” And now I think my eyes have rolled 100% of the way back into my brain. (Celebitchy)

Just a reminder that over on Amazon you can stream all two seasons of Orphan Black FOR FREE today!

Vulture asks the question, with all the 90s reboots happening, why are the black comedies of the time being left out? (Vulture)

I’m choosing to believe that this is EXACTLY how Matthew McConaughey reacted to the Star Wars trailer. (Dorkly)

The surgeon General and Elmo got together to talk the importance of vaccines (and to throw some quick but MAJOR shade at crazypants anti-vaxxers.

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy and Elmo have an important message for parents and kids about vaccines.Vaccinations protect children from life-threatening illness. We've joined the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and Sesame Street to get the word out!For resources and information on the importance of childhood vaccines, visit:

Posted by The Daily Dot on Friday, April 17, 2015

This dude was so worried about his mom walking in on him looking at porn, which had frozen on his laptop, that he smashed his computer screen. Sure, some of us may have just closed the laptop, but our good judgement and calm rational logic wouldn’t have been rewarded with a computer, courtesy of PornHub, so who are we to judge? (DailyDot)

Faintingviolet wishes she was still a teacher so she could get this kids interested in Above the Dreamless Dead, a collection of Trench Poetry from WWI. Illustrated by some of today’s leading cartoonists, this one made her wish she had had a copy of it when she was first trying to make meaning of poetry. (Cannonball Read 7)

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